Who’s Who

“Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities.”

 

The Cast By Location
In each location are the main people mentioned in my blog. The real bit parters are in the end section, entitled ‘Ze Others’ as well as a couple of people who don’t belong anywhere else.

American Beardy

My favourite American, he made me dinner when I worked at the Girl Scout Camp in Dutchess County. See 20th October 2004

American Dan
Met through LURPs. He went out with The Blue Cat. He was one of The Freshers.See 3rd March 2009

American Falcon
Friend of Skimble’s who interned with us…kinda…in Yamanashi. Great fun and a little ditzy. See 30th June 2005, 18th July 2005.

Gamer Girl
Met as an assistant English teacher in Yamanashi and keen role-player. Lives with Trekkie and they make computer games together See 27th January 2006.

J
Let me crash at her family’s place in America. Worked at the Girl Scout Camp in Dutchess County. See 25th December 2004.

Laney
Let me crash at her family’s place in America. Worked at the Girl Scout Camp in Dutchess County. See 25th December 2004.

Kore
Skimble’s pet sugar-glider. See 22nd May 2005, 10th May 2007

LBJ


Short for Long Bearded Josh, he’s a nice guy and we get on well. I met him as an assistant teacher in Yamanashi, we tended to talk at parties. He currently lives in America with his Japanese wife. See 22nd February 2006.

Louisianna Horserace
Met as an Assistant English Teacher in Yamanashi, I had something of a crush on her. See 13th September 2004.

MageFan
We met in Japan at a Dykeweekend. She was easily the person most like me there. A gamer, activist and lesbian! And she even knew the Mage Tarot deck. See 6th March 2006.

Skimble
We met as assistant English teachers in Yamanashi. She’s from Virginia and partial to collapsing in hyserics should Mixed Bag whisper `penetration’ or some such word in a public place! However perfectly capable of talking about all things pornographic when in the comfort of her own home, or my home, or her car, or someone else’s car. Easily my best friend in Yamanashi. Currently living in Virginia with pets.See 2nd October 2004, 14th November 2004, 10th January 2006.

Trekkie
We met as assistant English teachers and roleplayers in Yamanashi. He usually GM’d our roleplaying games. Lives with Gamer Girl. See 25th December 2004, 3rd July 2005.

Grandma L
Scrabble Playing Grandma. See 11th September 2003, 24th December 2003, 23rd December 2004.

Sage
The Jellicle Cat’s Cat who sadly vanished after living with Captain Carrot and Rabbit Girl (since he couldn’t move in with me being allergic to cats). See 29th December 2003.

Uncle Arthur
Scrabble Playing Great-Uncle. A poet, an artist and an appreciator of alternative thinking. See 11th September 2003, 23rd December 2004.

Bass Player
Was referred to as the Bassist, also called Blue Swirl. Met at Lancaster Uni through Taekwondo Society, PULSAR and LURPS. He’s a good bloke and lives in New Zealand (you don’t get much further south than that). See 2nd January 2007, 25th March 2007.

Bishop Nick
My cousin’s father-in-law. Did her wedding and The Stylish Baby’s christening, sometimes turns up on Thought For The Day. See 30th December 2010.

Cthulhu
Met at Lancaster Uni through LURPS. He moved down south where he lives with his girlfriend, Tribal Spirit See 26th March 2007.

Ex Brownie

Met at Royston Vasey Brownies. One of Da Bitches. Traditionally spends Christmas Eve baking sweets and goodies with The Princess – even since she moved to Hereford! See 24th December 2003.

Manly Viking
Met at Lancaster Uni through mutual friends. I love this man to pieces and will happily natter to him about anything from the length of his boyfriends cock to Cthuloid Melodrama. He lives in Liverpool with his boyfriend. See 17th May 2005.

Murkyway
Was referred to as Lord Murky and Laird Murky. Met at Lancaster Uni through mutual friends. He was on the periphery of the Big Beardy Soap Opera and once offered to shave his pubes for me. He lives somewhere down south. See 7th April 2006.

Plod
Met at Miss UD, MoT, DS Luke and Archangel’s housewarming. He is a role-player who used to live in Manchester with The Amazing and Wrong Mike. See 14th August 2006.

Straight


One of Da Bitches. Very intelligent, scarily so at times.She shared a house with The Princess for a long time when they lived in Leicester. See 4th May 2005.

Tribal Spirit
Met at Lancaster Uni through Pagan Soc. She moved down south where she lives with her boyfriend, Cthulhu See 26th March 2007.

AW Artist
An artist in Yamanashi who is just starting to do installations. Her mother has the most amazing house. See 24th February 2006.

Bubble
A volunteer teacher at Saijo. One of my Japanese Mothers and a Karaoke Queen. Sadly left to take care of her sick husband. See 13th March 2005.

Bouncy
An Assistant English teacher in Yamanashi. Originally from Singapore. Is great fun to hang out with. See 13th September 2004.

Chocolate Snowman
A teacher at the Junior High School. See 15th July 2005.

Chubabe
The wonderful organiser of the Dykeweekends as well as the owner of the kuritoris! See 13th August 2005, 6th March 2006.

Control Freak
One of the homeroom teachers at Saijo Elementary School. Enthusiastic but somewhat overbearing. See 19th October 2005, 26th October 2005.

CuteGreen
The cutest woman at the last Dykeweekend I went on. If only she hadn’t had a girlfriend! See March 6th 2006.

Furby
PE Teacher at the Junior High School. Very pleasant. See 11th October 2005.

Girl Next Door
She had the desk next to mine in the staff room when I first got to Japan. At first she seemed a little shy but when she taught the second year we really gelled. Currently head of English.See 8th September 2004, 11th January 2005.

Gossip


Was the English co-ordinator at Saijo Elementary School and could be ditzy as anything. See 19th October 2005, 26th October 2005.

Grape Bringer


One of my adult class, brings me Fresh Fruit almost every week from her parents farm. See 8th September 2004, 7th November 2004.

Historian


One of my adult class, does tonnes of research and has a great deal of general knowledge. See 26th October 2005.

Japanese Mothers

Seems like every woman since I’ve got to Japan has said ‘Oh you could be my daughter!’ Some more so than others. See Bubble, Control Freak, Gossip, Japanese Teacher, JM5, Madwoman, Nosey Ballerina, PHB and Reincarnation.

Japanese Teacher


Was referred to as The Artist. Teaches me Japanese and has got me involved with the Art scene in Yamanashi. See 5th December 2004, 5th June 2005, 22nd February 2006.

Jedi Master


He is the most fantastic teacher in Yamanashi! He used to teach with LBJ and then with me and he is so helpful with really great English. He still sends me little Hello Kitty models! See 22nd April 2005, 26th May 2005, 21st June 2005.

Karaoke Queens

Bubble and Squeak, who are best friends regularly spend upwards of four hours in a karaoke booth, at last count ten was their maximum! See 13th March 2005, 13th April 2005.

Kocho-sensei
The headmaster at the Junior Highschool I work at. Have a bit of a crush on him, very dapper older man who often wears a frock coat to ceremonies. See 22nd April 2005.

JM5


Short for Japanese Mother of Five. Volunteer English teacher at one of my schools. Very motivated. See 7th December 2005.

Lady R
An assistant English teacher in Yamanashi. We went to Okayama together. See 28th January 2006.

Madwoman


Was Referred to as the Mad Artist. Is the artist I exhibit with most frequently as due to her sheer drive she is rarely not exhibiting or organising an exhibition! See 7th December 2005, 22nd February 2006, 10th May 2006.

Man From The Midwest
An Assistant English Teacher in Yamanashi. Is the Tennesee Marshmallow’s friend. See 10th January 2006.

Mixed Bag
Another Assistant English Teacher, he lives in the next town over. Frequently gives me books and has a great sense of humour. The town currently suspect him of being the father to my unborn child.See 8th September 2004, 26th October 2004.

Miss T
One of my adult class. The first I met, I now teach her Tarot every Monday. See 8th September 2004.

Nesuphyn C
Unlikely to be mentioned again. A JET in the next town who I am no longer friends with. See 14th February 2005.

Nosey Ballerina
A teacher at Saijo Elementary School. Was the English co-ordinator and the first teacher to be really friendly to me. See 23rd January 2005.

Not A Student


Whenever my other friends meet her they think she’s one of my students! She is a teacher in her first year and very friendly. See 19th May 2006.

Ozzie
Assistant English Teacher in Yamanashi. Very cute eyes. Looks good as a samurai too! See 28th January 2005.

PHB
My Supervisor.Short for Psycho-Hose-Beast, she probably didn’t deserve this, my predecessors described this way though and she has been unpleasant a few times. See 8th September 2004.

Ping-Pong Lady
She was an absolutely brilliant teacher, and our first few lessons together were great. Then I did something wrong…I have no idea what. She coaches table tennis. See 8th September 2004, 10th November 2004, 17th January 2005, 21st June 2005.

Reincarnation
She was the teacher who met me off the bus to Yamanashi and translated for my supervisor and her friend. She`s lovely but has since moved to work at Nesuphyn C’s school. See 8th September 2004, 15th September 2005.

Rugby Player
The current English co-ordinator at Saijo Elementary School. He is very well-meaning and he was Nosey Ballerina’s second. We get on pretty well. See 19th October 2005

Seriously Cute
A French CIR in Yamanashi who I think is HOT. Frankly I could listen to him for hours…though my mind is usually on other things! See 27th September 2004.

Sparkley Eyes
Very cute Canadian assistant English Teacher in Yamanashi. We teamed up together in the Yeti Survivor competition …though no one noticed until too late! See 13th September 2004.

Straight Man
Another assistant English teacher. Hung around with Mixed Bag at first and easily the worst assistant teacher I ever came across, he got fired after his first year. See 8th September 2004.

Squeak


One of the volunteer teachers at Saijo. My youngest Japanese Mother (she dresses like my sister!) and a Karaoke Queen! See 27th January 2006.

Tennesee Marshmallow
An assistant English teacher who is a very nice, well spoken sort of bloke. Fun to hang out with. See 3rd April 2005, 10th January 2006.

The Mountaineer
A wonderful teacher at my school, has now sadly left to work elsewhere. Always tried to speak Japanese first and then English. Brilliant guy. See 7th February 2005, 15th July 2005.

The Menace from Ilinois
Another English Teacher in Yamanashi, roleplayer and Cthulhu addict, now lives in Korea with his wife and child. See 7th February 2005, 15th July 2005.

American Danny

Met through LURPs. Currently lives with The Welsh Cat, previously lived with MoT and Weasel.

Archangel


Was referred to as Archie. We first met at Lancaster Uni due to a shared interest in Theatre and Writing. I was his first kiss…awww! Later I cast his cock in plaster. See 22nd February 2006, 13th August 2006.

Aunty Iris
Met in Lancaster through Goat. She is currently living with Goat in the house of The Cult See 3rd June 2007.

BBM
Short for Beardy Best Mate. I notstalked him for a while and developed the Big Beardy Soap Opera based on his nickname at the time. We first me in Lancaster at a Theatre Group social and he explained the world to me! He is affianced to Maths Quaker. See 4th May 2005, 13th November 2005, 22nd February 2006.

Big Beardy Soap Opera

Refers to a group of not-stalkees in my first year of university including BBM, Cornish Bloke, Cuddles, Man of Taste, Naiad and Torch. See 11th July 2004.

Bilbo
Was referred to as Evil Bilbo. Met at Lancaster Uni through PULSAR the sci-fi society, I once called her ‘Dildo’ on the womens bus. She’s housemates with Pulsar Kris and My Ex-Warder. 29th October 2005.

Blackhurst Swainson
Met in Lancaster through the Yellow Sign Theatre Company. He is married to the Good Girlfriend. I was the stripper at his stag do. See 26th March 2007.

Boy from Tollbar
Met through LURPs. He is currently the Tabletop Rep and lives with MoT and Weasel.

Captain Carrot
Met at Lancaster Uni through PULSAR. He lives with Rabbit Girl and was the Jellicle Cat’s best friend. See 28th October 2005.

Chamber Town

That part of Lancaster where I live with The Jellicle Cat. See 25th August 2006

Cornish Bloke


Met at Lancaster Uni through a combination of mutual friends. He was a part of the Big Beardy Soap Opera. He lives with The Eyes See 22nd February 2006.

Dominic
The Car I and The Jellicle shared with Princess Lex See 2nd October 2008.

Dr Who Fanboy
Met in Lancaster through LURPS. He was housemates with Man of Taste and Weasel but currently lives elsewhere. See 20th April 2011.

DS Luke
Met at Lancaster Uni through LURPS.I mysteriously acquired his phone number whilst stoned and then we made a seriously awesome Horror LARP together. After a very weird character hangover we have a currently flourishing muse-artist relationship going. He is living with No Nickname. See 14th August 2006

El Presidente
Met at Lancaster Uni through Pagan Soc. He became President in his first year. He is living with Quiet Mike. See 22nd June 2007.

Ex-Gardnerian
Met in Lancaster at his wedding to Nordic Lady. He lives with her. See 13th January 2007.

Ex-Warder
Met at Lancaster Uni through Pagan Soc. We experimented with bonding but have since divorced. He is housemates with Evil Bilbo and The Wolf-Girl. See 15th September 2005.

FFG
Short for Fantastic Finger Guy. Met at Lancaster Uni through mutual friends. Have been lovers on and off. He is living with Marajuana Kiss. See 26th November 2005,.

FoxyJonno


Met at Lancaster Uni through mutual friends. His posing nude for me as a leaving present was the start of a very inspiring muse-artist relationship. We were lovers for a time and he is my best friend. He is affianced to Mother-in-Law in the house of The Cult. 4th December 2003, 2nd February 2004, 22nd August 2005, 25th December 2006, 30th July 2007

Generic WG

Short for Generic Writers Guild.Refers to a group of people nominally associated with the actual University Writers Guild but not always officially including Commie Tom, Filmmaker, Loud Socialist, Mirror-boy, Naiad, Nymph, Puck and Quiet Mike .

Girl with Golden Hair
Met at Lancaster Uni through LURPs in the first game that The Teenage Boy ran there. She’s fun to hang out with and play games with. She is one of The Freshers. She lives with The Teenage Boy and The Gold DwarfSee 7th April 2011

Goat
Met at Lancaster Uni through the Yellow Sign Theatre Company. He and I were born on the same day. He is currently living with Aunty Iris in the house of The Cult See 3rd June 2007.

Grandpa Nick
Met in Lancaster through LURPs. He was housemates with The Blue Cat, Tarot Pupil and The Eyes. Currently lives elsewhere.

Harry Potter
Met at Lancaster Uni through Theatre Group, Grizedale College and UNIQ. We dressed up together for the Witches and Wizards Ball in my first year in my college room where I gave her an artful zigzag scar with my lipstick. She’s now mother to Little Bear See 10th March 2005, 5th April 2006.

Hedgehog
Met at Lancaster Uni through the Jellicle Cat. She is currently living with Kikiman. See 14th January 2007

Hijinks
Met at one of my New Years Eve parties where they’d been brought along by The Nymph. I currently work for them. They are affianced to The Naiad.

Good Girlfriend
Met at Lancaster Uni through Writer’s Guild and Pagan Soc. She’s kind of bitchy. She is married to Blackhurst Swainson. See 31st December 2006.

Jazz
Met at Lancaster Uni through Pagan Soc. She’s simultaneously incredibly giggly and very quiet. She is involved with the Ex-Gardnerian and has very friendly dates with The Jellicle Cat. See 31st December 2006.

Jellicle Cat
Met at Lancaster Uni through PULSAR, the sci-fi society. We talked communism vs anarchism at our first meeting, Cornish Bloke arranged our first shag during which I puked on her floor and we currently have a reasonably successful relationship going. In short, my girlfriend. See 15th December 2003, 20th December 2003, 4th January 2005, 22nd February 2006, 28th March 2006.

Kikiman
Met at Lancaster Uni through BBM as a work colleague and later through PULSAR, the sci-fi society. I see him occaisionally now, mostly through The Jellicle Cat who knows Hedgehog. He is currently living with Hedgehog. See 14th January 2007.

Leg Plates

That part of Lancaster where My Gentleman Friend lives. See 25th August 2006

Lopez
My Coil. You need no further explanation See 10th May 2010.

Loud Socialist
Met through Writers Guild on a trip back to Lancaster whilst living in Japan.

Man of Taste


Met at Lancaster Uni through Theatre Group. I lay a number of my more widely known predelictions at his feet. He was a part of the Big Beardy Soap Opera. He is housemates with the Boy from Tollbar and Weasel, previously he lived with Dr Who Fanboy and American Danny. See 12th October 2003, 7th November 2004,

Marajuana Kiss
Met at Lancaster Uni through PULSAR, the sci-fi society. She was a wonderful model for me during my second year at Lancaster Uni. She is living with FFG. See 5th April 2006.

Maths Quaker
Met at Lancaster Uni through Writers Guild. A hard girl to get to know, we shared a morning bus ride during my PGCE and thats as close as I got. She is affianced to BBM.

Miss UD


Was referred to as Erfalaswen and Erfie. Met at Lancaster Uni through mutual friends. She is married to Spike. See 2nd December 2004.

Mother-In-Law
Was referred to as Lucrecia. Met at Lancaster Uni through LURPS, the roleplaying society. She’s my girlfriend. Her smile inspires people to do the most unexpected things. She is currently affianced to FoxyJonno living in the house of The Cult. See 12th February 2005.

My Gentleman Friend


Was referred to as My Favourite Uncle. Met in Lancaster through Pagan Soc. Our first conversation consisted of me ranting about Arthur. I used to paint murals in the bookshop (Daemonbooks) which he formerly owned. We fell in love but it didn’t work out and we’re currently friends. See 4th May 2005, 22nd February 2006.

Naiad
Was referred to as G. Met at Lancaster Uni through Theatre Group. We have been very good friends and also not very good friends at all. A part of the Big Beardy Soap Opera and now the Generic WG. She is divorced from the Nymph and affianced to Hijinks See 22nd November 2003, 4th May 2005

Nordic Lady
Met in Lancaster through Cornish Bloke and The Jellicle cat. She lives with her husband The Ex-Gardnerian. See 20th December 2006.

Non-Poncey Goth
Met in Lancaster through Summer College. He has great taste in music. He is a member of the Generic WG and the best writer I ever saw in Writers Guild. See 4th January 2007.

No Nickname
Was referred to as SB2 and The Interruptor. Met through LURPS on a trip back to Lancaster whilst living in Japan. She is currently living with DS LukeSee 14th August 2006

Nymph
Met in Lancaster through Naiad. She’s the sweetest girl I know with the sharpest teeth. She was a peripheral part of the BBSO and was part of the Generic WG. See 28th March 2006.

Penguin
Met at Lancaster Uni via MSN one day in the Libray. He was housemates for a while with M-i-L. We occaisionally meet for a catch-up on each other’s lives. He lives with his girlfriend in Lancaster. See 10th March 2011.
Precious Stone

Pre-Fresher Tom
Met in Lancaster through the Role-playing Society before he went away to university in Durham. He since came back. See 17th November 2008.

Princess Lex
Met at Lancaster Uni through mutual friends. Occaisionally she teases me with her shoes. See 26th September 2003.

Puck
Met at Lancaster Uni through PULSAR, the sci-fi society and LURPS, the role-playing society. He had an almost familial relationship with Bilbo.

Quiet Mike
Met through Writers Guild on a trip back to Lancaster whilst living in Japan.

Rabbit Girl
Met at Lancaster Uni through mutual friends. She is living with Captain Carrot. See 31st December 2003.

Rat
Met in Lancaster through mutual friends. She is a deeply cool lady who I have occaisionally thought ‘ROLEMODEL’ about. She is living with Sweetie. See 2nd February 2006.

Spike
Met at Lancaster Uni through LURPS. He’s an incredible kisser who’s maturity and down right good bloke heroism makes him seem older than he is. As does the hair loss. He is living with Miss UD. See 2nd January 2007.

Sweetie
Met at Lancaster Uni through mutual friends. We visited Fuji Five Lakes together. He is living with Rat. See 29th October 2003.

Tarot Pupil
Met in Lancaster through mutual friends. She is going out with Inigo Montoya and housemates with The Blue Cat, Grandpa Nick and The Eyes. See 20th April 2011.

The Blue Cat
Met in Lancaster through mutual friends. She has almost the same level of Hello Kitty obsession as me. She is incredibly cool and looks amazing on the dancefloor. She’s currently going out a roleplayer from Gloucester.See 25th March 2007.

The Cult


Aunty Iris, Goat, Mother-in-Law and FoxyJonno who are all housemates…they were observed to be wearing matching clothes for an entire weekend!See 7th April 2011

The Eyes
Met in Lancaster through mutual friends. She is going out with Cornish Bloke.
The Excellent Lesbian

The Girl Guide Leader
Leader of the Girl Guides I worked with in Lancaster. A lovely lady, came to my PGCE exhibition. She also worked at St Martins. See 12th May 2004.

The Live Rep
Met in Lancaster through mutual friends. She is the Live Rep of LURPs currently. She is living with Arg Mike. See 29th October 2003.

The Riddling Gatekeeper
Met in Lancaster through LURPS. He lives with his wife, The Medeival Bride See 10th March 2011.

The Sea Otter
Met at Lancaster Uni through Kikiman. He used to belong to a campus band called Monkey Bucket who were much beloved by a great many of my friends. Not any sort of militant atheist on the grounds that no militant atheist would have a naked witch dancing around their bedroom. A very definate pedant however who brooks no typos. See 14th January 2007.

The Teenage Boy
Met at Lancaster Uni through LURPs. He is a very good GM and surprisingly well able to maintain his kissing prowess when extremely drunk, this is very impressive. I am also the reason he cannot remember New Years 2010. He is one of The First Years. He lives with the Girl with Golden Hair and the Gold DwarfSee 2nd December 2008
The Wolf-Girl

Weasel
Met through LURPS on a trip back to Lancaster whilst living in Japan. When I came back I gave him four years to become my lover. He did it in three.See 14th August 2006

Flower
My French Brother’s girlfriend. Very cute and very funny. See 9th April 2007.

My French Brother
We’ve known each other since I was six and he was three. A genuinely nice guy. See 9th April 2007.

My French Sister
A woman of incredible energy and enthusiasm. She’s very politically active. See 9th April 2007.

Cuddles
Met at Lancaster Uni through the combination of mutual friends. It took a while for us to really hit it off. She was housemates with Torch for a longtime.She was a part of the Big Beardy Soap Opera. She is a social worker in London and shares a house with her boyfriend. See 6th February 2005, 28th November 2006, 2nd January 2007, 25th February 2007.

Filmmaker
Met through Writers Guild on a trip back to Lancaster whilst living in Japan. His first thought upon our initial meeting was ‘oh..Mish is God.’ I encourage this. He lives in London. See 11th August 2006.

Mirror Boy
Met through Writers Guild and Pagan Soc on a trip back to Lancaster whilst living in Japan.He is currently going out with Puck.

Swan


Met at Royston Vasey Secondary School. My best friend back then. We ran a Girl Guide Group together during 6th Form. Lex’s elder sister. The first person I came out to. See 22nd March 2006.

The Irish Dwarf
Was refered to as Catholic Boyfriend. The Torch’s husband, our first ‘meeting’ was over the phone but then I met him whilst staying with the Torch and Cuddles as I was taking BlowJob Classes in London. See 28th November 2006.

Torch
Met at Lancaster Uni through mutual friends. She almost certainly has magic powers. Was part of the Big Beardy Soap Opera. She was housemates with Cuddles for a longtime. She is living in London and shares a house with her husband, The Irish Dwarf. See 4th May 2005.

Alchemist
Met at Lancaster Uni through Pagan Soc. He had the most interesting stories. See 22nd June 2007.

Commie Tom
Met through Writers Guild and Pagan Soc. on a trip back to Lancaster whilst living in Japan. He is married to a girl from the Phillipines.

Confused Highwayman
Met at Lancaster Uni through Pagan Soc and the Student Socialist Workers. He lived in Kendal and works as a landscape gardener. Last I heard of him he’d bought a one way ticket to Vietnam, we promised to meet in another lifetime. See 22nd November 2003, 16th February 2005, 5th January 2007.

Daemonic Ian
Met at Lancaster through my housemate Kimblebobs. He has since married and divorced her. He introduced me to the wonders of opera. He lives in Warrington.See 25th December 2004

Dancer Boy
Met at St. Martins on our PGCE. He was easily the person most fun to be around there. See 24th September 2003.

Earrings
Shared an art studio during my third year at Lancaster Uni. See 27th April 2006.

Full Metal Flower
Met at Lancaster Uni through mutual friends. She was on the art course, the year below me and did some fantastic stuff. See 23rd October 2004.

Kimblebobs
My housemate during my second year at Lancaster Uni. A very intelligent feminist lady currently living with her girlfriend. See 29th October 2003.

Madam Giry
Met on my trip home to Lancaster whilst living in Japan. She makes good artwork. She is married to Mina Giry and lives in Ireland. See 29th October 2005

Mina Giry
Met on my trip home to Lancaster whilst living in Japan. She is married to Madam Giry. They live in Ireland. See 29th October 2005

Octavius
Met in Lancaster through Byron. He shared a house with FFG See 13th January 2007.

Pre-Raphaelite Maiden
Housemate in my second year at Lancaster Uni. She later became the Women’s Officer when I did my PGCE. See October 19th 2004.

Scary Bloke
Met at Lancaster Uni through mutual friends. He terrifies me. Since leaving Lancaster he has become a Mormon Elder. See 6th April 2004

Wayne
Ran the webcamhouse in Lancaster where I lived in my third year of university. See 8th September 2005.

Alcoholic
Met at the Naiad and Nymphs first handfasting. He equalled my intake of Steff’s weird alcohol. He lives with the Boss in Manchester. See 4th December 2003, 21st December 2003.

Boss
Met at Lancaster Uni through mutual friends. I never really got to know her unfortunately. She lives in Manchester with the Alcoholic. See 21st December 2003.

Britney


Was referred to as The Clean Cut Boyfriend and Honarary Bitch. Met on a night out in Leicester with The Princess and Straight. Officially made Honorary Bitch by the Ex-Leprechaun in 2006. He is my sister’s fiance. See 25th November 2006, 26th December 2006.

Byron
Met at Lancaster Uni through Writers Guild. She is generally regarded as being indestructible. She doesn’t live anywhere near Manchester with her cat, Mjollnir. See 31st December 2003.

Eclectic
Met at Lancaster Uni through Pagan Soc. She likes dancing at the Dark Side. See 2nd February 2009.

Erik The Viking
Met at Lancaster Uni through Theatre Group. He and I share a love of theatre teching, but he’s more of a sound man than I am.

Neuroscientific Boobs
Was called Plodosexual. Met at Miss UD, MoT, DS Luke and Archangel’s housewarming. She complimented me on my breasts. She was as Wrong Mike’s housemate for a while. She lives in Manchester with her boyfriend. See 14th August 2006.

The Princess


My younger sister. One of Da Bitches. Currently working in retail. She shared a flat with Straight in Leicester. She is living with her fiance, Britney. See 12th October 2003, 4th May 2005, 27th May 2005, 18th March 2006.

The Proper Girl
My cousin, she’s a teacher and is always perfectly turned out (even with a baby). Was hugely jealous of her makeup collection growing up (to the extent of stealing it I admit this). Lives with her husband and son The Stylish Baby in Liverpool. See 23rd December 2004, 7th April 2011.

Wrong Mike
Was referred to as Reconstituted. Met at Lancaster Uni through PULSAR, the sci-fi Society. We have surprisingly similar views on a number of things. He was housemates with Neuroscientific Boobs See 15th September 2003.

Ex Leprechaun


Met at Royston Vasey Brownies. One of Da Bitches. Likes to call me ‘Magic Mish’. I have a wonderful picture of The Princess not at all passed out on her kitchen floor. She sometimes comes and plays Witches with The Princess. See 26th December 2005.

Giggles
Met at Lancaster Uni through PULSAR, the sci-fi society. We shared a house during my PGCE, it didn’t work out well. She is engaged to Radio Steve and lives with him in Newcastle. See 23rd April 2004, 14th November 2004.

My Hero


Was referred to as The Curious Orange and The Yellow Dart. Met at Lancaster Uni through PULSAR, the sci-fi society. We shared a house during my PGCE and have remained friends. He lives in Newcastle. See 22nd September 2003, 22nd November 2003, 19th October 2004, 15th May 2005, 10th April 2006.

Radio Steve
Was referred to as Film Buff and Movie-Boy. Met at Lancaster Uni through mutual friends. He listened to me vent during my PGCE. He is engaged to Giggles and they live in Newcastle.See 24th October 2004, 14th November 2004.

Blue Eyes


Met at Royston Vasey Secondary School. My Best Enemy and my first love. The second person I came out to. See 24th October 2004, 27th May 2005.

Curls
One of Da Bitches. See 4th May 2005.

Da Bitches


Ten Girls from John Leggott 6th Form. They have their own code and book (Da Bitches Bible) which occaisionally gets read from at important events or when they can be arsed. To the outsider (me) they sometimes look like a 90s version of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. See 4th May 2005.

Dad


He grew up in Australia and can recite random bits of poetry at whim.See 24th July 2004, 6th August 2005.

EbolaFan
Met at Royston Vasey Secondary School.Responsible for nicknaming me ‘Mish’ when I was 11. Trained to be a doctor in London. Part of the RatRoom See 27th May 2005, 8th July 2005.

Fish City


Unfortunately my birthplace. Located on the northeast extremity of the Green County about half an hour from Royston Vasey proper, a little less from Royston Vasey Town. See 22nd August 2006.

Lex
Met at a Girl Guide Event. Sometime member of Da Bitches. Swan’s younger sister.

Mum


She is fond of saunas and shrimp and is a completely ruthless card-player. See 15th January 2005, 9th August 2005.

Psi
Met at Royston Vasey Secondary School. Ask me to tell you the rumour about his lost virginity sometime. Part of the RatRoom. See 6th April 2004

Q-Boy


Met at Royston Vasey Secondary School. EbolaFan’s best friend. Ran a very successful chocolate selling business at school illegally. Part of the RatRoom. See 27th May 2005.

Royston Vasey


Royston Vasey proper is the village I grew up in, located on the edge of the Green County Wolds in the north of that County. About three miles or so away is Royston Vasey Town where Royston Vasey Secondary School is (thats where I went to Secondary School). See .

Scuppy
Met at Royston Vasey Secondary School. Close friend of EbolaFan. See 27th May 2005.

Sporty
Was referred to as the Traveller. One of Da Bitches. Met at Royston Vasey Secondary School. Likes to travel. See 4th May 2005, 27th December 2006.

The RatRoom


A common room in Royston Vasey 6th Form so called both because of the pawprints painted on the walls (before Q-Boy) and also because that was where the rats came up from the cellar most often. Also the group of people who most commonly frequented it. It was a very odd place where usual rules of curtesy and mature behaviour were largely suspended. Very good preparation for the Big Beardy Soap Opera of later years. See 11th March 2006.

Vivianne Westwood
Was referred to as Leeds Bird. Met on a night out in Leicester.One of The Princess’s friends from uni. See 25th December 2006, 27th December 2006.

French Fry
Met at Lancaster Uni through Writers Guild. She left Lancaster to work in London and has since married and lived with her husband in Romania before moving to Scotland. See 20th May 2007.

Last NS
Short for Last Not-Stalkee, officially the last person I not-stalked in my first/second year at Lancaster Uni. Met at Lancaster Uni through LURPS, the Role-Playing society. She lives outside of Glasgow. See 13th May 2005.

Lighting Guy
Met at Lancaster Uni through Theatre Group and the Chaplaincy Centre. He lives in Scotland with his girlfriend, Scottish Heather. See 3rd April 2007.

Scottish Heather
Met at Lancaster Uni through Theatre Group. She lives in Scotland with her boyfriend, Lighting Guy. See 3rd April 2007.

American Car Fan
Friend of a friend who attended my 23rd birthday. See 6th January 2005.

American Vicky
Met at Lancaster through LURPS but never really got to know her. See 18th February 2005, 25th February 2007.

Blaze
Met at Little Sister’s wedding. He’s a nice sci-fi fan. See 10th June 2007.

Blue-Eyed Wolf
A very interesting lady met through my Gentleman Friend. See 14th February 2007.

Bookworm
Friend of a friend who attended my 23rd birthday. See 6th January 2005.

Cheery Cleaner
The bright spark of conversation at Our Lady’s Lancaster. See 12th May 2004.

Driving Instructor
Met in Lancaster through my Gentleman Friend. She is living with Gerbil Rob. See 10th June 2007.

Fluffy Cyclist
The youngest most cynical teacher I met at Our Lady’s Lancaster. See 12 May 2004, 28th May 2004.

Gerbil Rob
Met at Lancaster Uni through LURPS, the Role-playing society. He is Little Sister’s brother. He is going out with Driving Instructor. See 10th June 2007.

Grandma
Sensible sort of northern woman. See 4th May 2005.

High-As-A-Kite
A very likeable, keen, active girl guide I worked with. See 15th July 2004.

Ibiza Mother
Met through my Gentleman Friend. She is mother to Gerbil Rob and Little Sister. See 10th June 2007.

IcyG
An assistant English teacher in Yamanashi, something of an attention seeker. See 2nd December 2005.

Little Sister
Met at her wedding through my Gentleman Friend. She is Gerbil Rob’s sister. See 26th May 2004.

MiniDart
One of the most amusing pupils I’ve had. Shame I had to be telling him off most of the time. See 6th May 2004.

Miximatosis
An ex-tutee from my time working at the Summer College in Lancaster. Now firmly ensconced in Writers Guild. See 25th January 2005.

The Fashionista
Was referred to as My Cousin. Calls me Mish, making her distinct from the rest of my family. See 23rd March 2011.

Musical Plaid
Met at Lancaster Uni through Writers Guild. Someone I have very little time for. See 31st December 2003

New Yorker
Met at the Dykeweekends. A fellow Fuji-enthusiast! Going out with the Pretty Italian.See 6th March 2006.

Pretty Italian
Met at the Dykeweekends. Very much an indoors sort of girl, good with the Tarot. Going out with the New Yorker. See 6th March 2006.

Scottish Southerner
Met in Yamanashi, Japan. A very friendly woman. See 13th September 2004.

Smarmy Guy
A volunteer teacher at one of the elementary schools. We didn’t get on. See 19th October 2005.

Sock Man
Met at St Martins on our PGCE. He was quite cliquey. See 24th September 2003.

Spanish Silver
Met at St Martins on our PGCE. She left soon after…very sensibly. See 24th September 2003.

Tim
Cousin, elder by a few years. We occaisionally got on as kids but don’t really see each other now. See 11th September 2003.

The Builder
The Princess’s Ex. Utter Bastard. See 26th December 2005.

The Princess of Runcorn
Met through Manly Viking whilst working in Runcorn. The man who taught me that Runcorn is great! See 4th December 2006, 16th December 2006.

The Science Major
Met to travel to Ecuador with. Essentially a nice lass who doesn’t like travelling too far. See 6th April 2006.

The Scottish Heathen
Was referred to as the Glaswegian. The bright spot of the APT. A funny guy, even if all his friend’s names seem to begin with ‘Sh’. See 30th November 2006, 14th February 2007.

Unfortunately Drunk Puerto-Rican
Met at the Dykeweekends. A lovely lass when not drunk. See 6th March 2006.

Unprepared
Was an assistant English teacher in Yamanashi. Got a reputation for messing around with High School Girls. See 13th September 2004.

Vet-in-progress
Nesuphyn C’s ex-girlfriend. A lovely girl who is coming on the JET program. See 18th July 2005.

WonderWoman
My Mentor at Our Ladys in Lancaster. She was fantastic, one of the best teachers I have ever met, I am so proud to have worked with her. See 12th May 2004.