I’m polyamorous. I feel more comfortable in situations with multiple people. I relax, and smile, and feel at home. Thats me and I can’t change that.

I don’t want to either.

The thing is I’m a total bitch and I don’t know why the long, long, long suffering Archangel came to my rescue today but he did and I love him dearly for it. (Yes folks, you heard it here first, I really do think Archie’s great, if a prat at times). But without these bizarre relationships sprung up from nothingness into reality I can be made to feel like total crap. The basic tennets I hold true about myself still hold. I just need a friend, or passing Archangel to tell me sometimes, especially when I’ve had my handholds smoothed away.

Foxy Jonno and Princess Lex hugged me and I knew absolutely that I was in the right place and still me. The Jellicle Cat made me baked potatoes and a hot water bottle and I knew that I was home. Archie, who puts up with more of my shit than anyone else in the entire world, made me cry, held me and reminded me that at base a Mish is a fairly sound thing to be.

Give me a blasted heath and I’ll be home free.

4 thoughts on “Me

  1. I can always rely on you for a back-handed compliment or two from time-to-time, can’t I, hon? :-p

    If the offer of food is still open, I can do tomorrow afternoon?

  2. As I have said before, and will say again, I never wanted you to be anything other than who you are.

    It’s sad that we weren’t able to give each other everything that we needed out of our relationship and still be the people we are, but we gave it a damn good go.

    I’m glad you’re where you need to be, and with the folk you need to be with. Emotions run high at these times, it’s part of being human, and we all (poly or not!) have loved ones, family and friends that help us through, and remind us that we are perfectly sound human beings at root.

  3. Sometimes I think having a word, a definition for something makes it worse. I knew I believed in being able to love many people at the same time (though I didn’t necessarily think it in terms of a sexual relationship) long before I knew there was the concept of polyamory. Some people are born certain ways, whether there are concepts for what they are or not. Personally, I prefer to stare less at the concept and deal more with the reality of things. But that’s just my take on it.

  4. I’m sorry Mish but I’m getting a bit tired of the "I will not change" line. Get over it, people change, places change, relationships change, everything changes. Change is a requirement of life and if you don’t control those changes you’re just cattle. If you deny change you stagnate.

    I’m actually pretty damned sick of all this polyamory shite as well, who gives a fuck and more importantly, why is it the only thing anyone talks about? If it’s so damned great why is it you’ve seemed so sad for so long and why do you feel the need to justify it every other journal entry? If it’s not this great social malaise then why is polyamory associated with so many fuck ups?

    Just to clear something up. You’re usually very particular about your definitions, but you slipped up here, you’re not polyamorous (unless you and Jonno are in a polyamorous relationship now), from where I can see you’re in an open relationship with a polyamorous boyfriend. I don’t like delusions, it’s the Heimdall on my shoulder that dislikes obfuscation.

    Despite the ranting I do care about you, I just worry about Mish at 30 and have a fear that she’ll be a pitiful creature clinging to something so tightly that she doesn’t realise things have changed more than she realises. Is change so bad? Is growing up so bad?

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