So, I have an emergency function on my phone, basically if I’m in an emergency I click a button four times and it sends an emergency text to The Jellicle, FJ, Princess Lex and M-i-L. Now, when I was setting it up I did sort of wonder, what happens if it goes wrong and sends all the time, not very much use in an emergency. But it’s been months now and I’d pretty much forgotten about it.
Except that today, whilst I’m shopping in town I was crossing the road, between Sainsburys and the bus station, ok, I was not on a proper crossing, but I was looking right – you know, on a one way street where all the traffic comes from the right. A cyclist runs into me when I’m most of the way across, knocking me over and spilling my bags (I’d been shopping). He then swears at me, ‘fucking retarded cunt’ being the exact phrasing he used and cycles off into the oncoming traffic, because yes, I am the retarded one here, it was totally my fault for not seeing him speeding up on me from the left on this one way street.
Gah. Picked up my bags with one of the drivers from the station who’d come out for a fag and seen what happened and who got me nicely settled on a bus back to Chamber Town. I then sat and fumed for a few seconds silently when my phone suddenly goes mad. I take it out of my pocket assuming there must be a text message as it’s vibrating like I’ve never seen before.
No text message.
I try and open it up and see what’s going on but the keypad is rendered suddenly useless apart from the 9 key which seems weird.
Then I start getting calls coming through. I notice that the big red button icon is flashing and ask M-i-L if my emergency text has just gone out…
No, no emergency, I’m fine.
Sorry about that.
On the otherhand, at least I know it works now…