Can’t Even Get My Terms Right

I am so not a Nordic LARPer. I mean, yeah ok anyone who’s played with me is going ‘yes Mish, this is correct’ but turns out I can’t even get my terms right.
I’ve been using bleed to mean after-effects, emotions you’re still feeling the Monday after Time Out, because honestly when I was introduced to the term it was as a bad thing. Turns out it actually means when you ‘feel’ the emotion in-game… oh, right? So, like when you’re roleplaying…

Yeah, turns out I’m not even roleplaying properly… Ok that one I’m joking about. I’ve often had comments about really inhabiting a character, it’s one of the nicest compliments that Riddling Gatekeeper ever gave me considering I think he’s a properly epic roleplayer. (Godsdamned theatrical types they’re just too good at this hobby) But, apparently some people like to keep their distance in the middle of the game? Immersion has always been my goal, it’s why I like to know a character backwards so that when I’m in the game I can just be in the game. I don’t usually have a problem calibrating off-game unless someone is doing it to the nth degree, though I will often opt to stay in the in-game area if I don’t have something specific to discuss. My idea of hell as a player and ref is when your kitchen area is in the middle of the playspace and players just assume it’s offgame.

Oh Eskmeals House I do love you but I wish I could just slightly remodel your Georgian frame.

So yeah, I play to bleed… I mean even looking at that phrasing I’m thinking it sounds like me. That’s what I get my high from. However, bleed out is ok, I dislike in the extreme bleed-in (when it’s my OOC emotions coming into the character). I’m fine about deliberately drawing on emotions I know from the real world to enhance my play but not when it’s accidental, that I can do without. And I don’t like getting lost in a character, feeling isn’t the same as losing reflexivity and I don’t think I could do nuanced without that. I could do without slipping into refspace as much as I did last weekend. I think what I could really do with is a game which is very immersive and ideally twenty four hour time in and that I cannot possibly take on a ref or crew role.

Maybe next year when I’ve finished this diploma though.

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