The love of field and coppice Of green and shaded lanes, Of ordered woods and gardens Is running in your veins. Strong love of grey-blue distance, Brown streams and soft, dim skies I know, but cannot share it, My love is otherwise. I love a sunburnt country, A land of sweeping plains, Of ragged mountain ranges, Of droughts and flooding rains. I love her far horizons, I … Read More
I can tell I missed my anxiety meds this morning, I am plagued by thoughts dancing around telling me what a disappointment I was to my Dad. I think that coming up to this first anniversary we are all going to find things hard. I wish I’d been well when he died, I wish I … Read More
Content warning: Mention of the death of a parent Ancestors. Whew. Ancestors. Dad died last year and that was heavy. There were a number of festivals and symbls before I could speak a toast to him. There was a great deal of comfort in his having visited one Yule and participated in a symbl. My … Read More
Le week-end dernier, je suis allée à une boum! Mais, c’est ne pas correct. J’ai organisé une fête! C’etait en ligne. J’ai utilisé Discord et j’aime bien les resultes. Beaucoup des personnes attendes et j’ai été surpris parce que c’est un peu difficile d’assister d’une soirée enligne. Ma soeur et new neveux attends avec mon … Read More
That stages of grief woman got the emotions bang on. I seem to be rapidly cycling through them some days and other weeks floating through different ones much longer. What is really helping though is my having taken LSD. Not recently, but in the past. (Seriously it was hard already to get hold of it, … Read More
I have been and am very lucky. I’m very social as standard, I have a lot of friendly acquaintances and friends and I honestly haven’t found this lockdown to be an isolating experience. Dad dying did completely shut me down, there appeared at least three people at my door bearing gifts and cards and flowers … Read More
Some days I am better than others. Dad is gone and everything I didn’t manage to do and tell him about some days hits hard. Some days it puts me into his back patio one summer’s day talking about his grief for his Dad. I had longer with him than he had with his Dad. … Read More
No Remote Pride prompt today, it feels weird. I’m missing my Dad. The Princess, Mum and I discussed gravestones today and looked at what we wanted written on Dad’s. There’s some other memorials we talked about too. Mum cried, I didn’t, quite. The Princess is less bothered by grave markers than she is by other … Read More
Well, that’s it. I have made it through my first Father’s Day without Dad. No phonecall home asking him how his beer was or to tell him that it was also the Summer Solstice today and some vaguely pagan words and vague descriptions of the Litha ritual I did. To be honest I think that’s … Read More
Since Dad got ill with pre-Leukaemia and then myeloid leukaemia I’ve been incredibly conscious that any given interaction could be our last. Every phone call that I made, every visit. I really focussed on things I wanted to make sure I told him, like really big life things. And I was aware of what I … Read More
