Am I Alive?

Yes I think so. At least I was last time I checked. I did indeed go home for the weekend which leads to some difficulties updating this thing.

Well I call it home. It’s certainly where I used to live. When I was going through my angsty teen bit (have I stopped I wonder?!) I used to say that there were two places on earth I felt at home; one was in a certain patch of road in Somerby (a couple of villages on from mine) and the other was the beach I saw a tornado from in France (not I hasten to mention because of the tornado). I think this house is the closest I’ve come to feeling like I live here in a while. Course it’s been a bit strained recently, I don’t think I’m really cut out to live with other people. Usually in all those little fantasies about the future which most of us I think indulge in I picture myself in different places all over the world, eventually for whatever reason settling in France, largely I feel because of that beach. But whever I am I’m usually alone, my subconcious was probably trying to tell me something.

So parents…they were nice and it was nice to feel like I was visiting them and not having to stay. They kept asking where I was intending to settle (and implicit in that question was when) I don’t really see hat I should have it all planned out or that I should have a definate plan at all really. I have two ambitions in my live: to travel and to write. I would like to attempt to do both, but really thats it. I’m a teacher based purely around the fact I seem to be ok with kids…although not the kids I had last thing who were running around the classroom splattering each other with paint and not paying any attention to me. I’ve never had a guide group or girl scout group like it. Normally kids get scared when I raise my voice. This lot were making so much noise they never even heard me. I need to find out about detentions and stuff, I’ve no idea what to do with kids who just don’t listen. I’m not looking forward to my evaluation at all.

Am I alive? Yes I would say so. Else why would I worry, I’d just float on free across the breeze. Sounds rather like what I intend to do anyway, nothing keeping me nowhere, just writing and playing and not being of much consequence at all.