I got cancelled on by my therapist tonight, she claimed to have a powercut. In reality she likely did, however I caught myself analysing last week’s session for things that I could have done wrong. I was a bit upset following my Mum’s birthday (the first one without Dad) – I know, so unexpected right?! So my brain decided that I probably upset her by oversharing and by being too open in the first session. Ah, very helpful there brain. Hopefully I’m self-aware enough to get around that, or at least remember to tell the woman this!
I think one of my bigger regrets about the relationship with My Gentleman Friend was that when I had an offer of doing therapy (when I was living on my own as a foreigner in Japan) from a reaonably well respected therapist over there I talked it over with both the Jellicle Cat and My Gentleman Friend. The Jellicle Cat said that it sounded like a good opportunity that I should go for, My Gentleman Friend said that it would eat into his being able to talk to me and so I shouldn’t. I was still uncertain about therapy and let myself be talked out of it, I really shouldn’t have, therapy in my early twenties would have been very helpful, now when I have quite so many traumatic experiences layered on top of one another, it just seems a bit overwhelming to be honest.
I think the main learning curve here is that when people are encouraging you to be your best self then you need to keep them close, when people are more concerned with how much of you they get to hoard then head into the distant hills.
Right, now for a date night with Mother-in-Law, who definitely needs a better nickname. Apparently we’ve been together for six years and I still haven’t thought of one.