Fucking hell. I, and – fuck it I can’t be the only one – a whole chunk of my generation, have had some bad luck when it comes to children’s tv presenters. Jimmy Saville was just too fucked up for words but at least it was – in hindsight for those of us viewers who … Read More
Today I’m exhausted and in pain. Dancing on Saturday was great but oh I’m still paying for it in codeine. I’ve been doing trauma work for about six months now and it I dunno ramped up a notch? This last week. I’m mentally and emotionally exhausted as well as physically. Honestly I’ve been making progress … Read More
I called in sick to work this morning, at least partly because of the weird (wyrd?) episode I had on Tuesday. Immediately I did so I felt guilty, pulling a sicky when you work one to one with disabled people is absolutely not on. Then I couldn’t get out of bed. Not in a Depression … Read More
(More mental health stuff) This entry was supposed to be happy verging on triumphant all about how I had cleaned the toilet for the first time since Dad died. (Yes I have not cleaned the toilet in a little over three years). I would like to point out for hygiene reasons that I do live … Read More
I think that I’m naturally quite a cheerful and confident person. I suspect that seems ridiculous to assert but I really do see my Depression, complete with its suicide ideation, as being separate to my self. The way I’ve always dealt with it, from my teens until present day, is by seeing it as a … Read More
There was an afternoon I spent in London with The Funniest, we were in a park somewhere eating ice creams. Earlier in the day I had made my discovery of the genius that is Reggae Reggae Sauce on bacon sandwiches. I can’t remember if it was just after The Jellicle had split with Princess Lex … Read More
I’m tired and this is probably not going to make much sense, but ok, listen (not drunk, not high, don’t have covid and am not having another mental break) you know how I was in therapy last year to basically have emotions again/connect with them? And then I was in the most emotionally securing full … Read More
(Content Warning – Mental health healing is messy, I suffered a mental break last year and this entry is basically stream of consciousness thoughts from therapy. Mentions CPTSD, ASD, ADHD and all that good stuff) If you want me to apologise verbally then often I need to know because a lot of times when I’ve … Read More
Together Forever has advertised again, not the in person game Together at Last, but the actual online version that I fell in love with over the pandemic. I’ve signed up but I have to admit I’m slightly curious about how many people will sign up. After all I know at least one former enthusiast who … Read More
(Content Warning – this discusses my personal history of suicide ideation – I am frank about being suicidal as a teenager. Don’t worry I am not actively suicidal right now) I have been suicidal for the vast majority of my life. Most of my adult life has been about managing that desire/urge/background assumption. I don’t … Read More
