In two weeks I will complete my current run of therapy. It’s been a bit of a trip, working through and processing old trauma right in the middle of new trauma. Trying to remain present when all this is happening around me is really hard and my coping mechanisms have gotten really unhealthy. On the … Read More
I knew I was on borrowed time when Selfie King came up for Hanami last year, he was on the train home as Johnson made the announcement about the first lock down. We had our picnic and then we all holed up in our houses, well, except for those of us key workers who just … Read More
Content Warning: Suicide I have two more weeks of therapy left and I don’t think I have the words for how much I have cried on Thursdays this year. My therapist is ridiculously kind to me, except she isn’t, she’s normal person kind and I’m apparently ridiculously harsh on myself. Which I would ridicule except … Read More
I’ve written before about how coming out is never one moment, it’s a continual process in a world where straight is still the default. (A slight aside here, today I accompanied a client to the doctor’s and was asked if I was a friend or partner in a situation that would not have been read … Read More
(Content Warning: I’m going to talk pretty frankly and at least mention rape, domestic violence and similar things, some in relation to myself. The Youtube link absolutely has dodgy lyrics, though I find the lyrics of ‘Rape Me’ less offensive than those of ‘Blurred Lines’ to be honest.) This is reaction, this is emotional, I … Read More
Tonight DS Luke came over for dinner. There was a risk assessment beforehand, and he did an LFT, but The Jellicle and Imp agreed it was probably less risky than… well the entirety of my job. I made lasagne, a tricolore that wasn’t perfectly achieved, three types of cheese, yoghurt in the béchamel and my … Read More
Is it geting better? I have no idea, but this constant assessment of risk is beginning to get to me. I deliberately went into a coffee shop the other day on my lunch break. Yes absolutely it was stupid…sort of, there was me and the barista in the whole place. But I just need to … Read More
(Content Warning: I have included a link to a picture of someone falling from the towers behind the words “one person plunge”) Did you know, I’ve never written about September the 11th on here? Or nothing that’s stuck at any rate. Given the various server drops this blog’s anniversary turns out to be eighteen years … Read More
In tabletop roleplay the person running the game is the GM, I don’t know why I’m explaining that, if you’re reading this I highly doubt you need me to. In anycase, the GM running my life has a sense of humour because my Therapist started talking about the roleplaying games I’ve mentioned to her over … Read More
A difference between LARP and real life, in LARP you can’t wait to get out the awesome tragic backstory that you wrote and entice people into crying with you. In real life the feeling of the conversation is more akin to being sick. Like, oh now I have to tell this cool person I’m actually … Read More
