The thing about emotions is they come across you in waves, and I do mean like the sea. There are the lapping waves that you can see coming and there’s a predictable regularity to them and then sometimes there’s a storm out deep at sea and it moves all the water around until the waves … Read More
I’m one day into a three day vampire game and struck by the same thing I always forget when it comes to Vampire. Vampire is not a horror game, it has some of the set dressing, sometimes its pitch crosses over but at base it is a political game, not a horror game. I’m playing … Read More
If I ever make it as an author it’s going to be because I drive a lot, all my best ideas come whilst driving. I’m not entirely sure that makes me safe on a motorway but I’m going to hope so. Possibly I’m too introspective or maybe this is going to be how I make … Read More
I am currently working through therapy in a trauma group. I’m desperately trying to process far too many emotions after really only opening them up last year. I’m unwell in some unspecified way and I’m pursuing diagnosis for mental health treatment on top of everything else. I am normally pretty chill about men’s physicality. A … Read More
I have had nightmares on and off throughout my life. Usually when I haven’t realised what I’m stressed about sometimes when I have. Last night my subconscious was spectacular. It took the nightmare from last year and the pedestrian getting hit by the car from last week and combined them. Then I was seducing a … Read More
I am glad that I know Glasgow pretty well, not only because it makes studying there easier but also because it doesn’t feel as bad as perhaps it would knowing that the last time I was here I went on a date with The Fae Ref. I suspect if I ever end up in A&E … Read More
2020 was a study in grief for me, an understanding of the sheer heaviness of it, the shaking emotion of it. Every day I had to remind myself in the morning that my father was dead, because I was terrified that I would forget and try to call him or have to relive the initial … Read More
(Content Warning – this is pretty grim in case the title doesn’t give that away) In the last ten years I’ve seen three people be run over in Lancaster and thats honestly beginning to feel like a lot. My whole life is beginning to feel like a lot to be quite honest, which is possibly … Read More
The thing that I do love about polyamory, that I’ve loved since before the Jellicle and I started this weird loving journey of ours is how each love adds to the loves you already have. How learning to love another person, understanding and building that language with them means you add to the language you … Read More
Last year I had a traumatic experience. I had more than one if I want to get granular but honestly since seeing the girl who attempted suicide I feel like all the negatives in my life have been turned up to eleven. Realistically what’s happening is I feel like everything is more negative and I … Read More
