It seems that some of my friends were so waiting for an opportunity to say ‘told you so’ that they haven’t even assessed the situation. For all those of you who are of the opinion that I am unhappy because I am not in a relationship think before you tell me that because I might be a tad pissed of if you’re the eigth person that day.
I enjoy being single, I know a lot of you don’t but I’m afraid that I do: I enjoy my own company, I like to do my own things and I have no particular desire to look for someone to share my life with. (This may make me sound a selfish curmudgeon but then perhaps I am.) I’m not hugely fond of love it seems to enjoy playing tricks on me and generally using me for its own secretive games. I enjoy sex and I have a fairly casual morality when it comes to the casual side of sex which is the way I like it.
I am unhappy at the moment because I have been rejected. Tell me, no really, do tell me, am I the only person out here who’s been rejected; the only person who shock horror! has fallen for someone who doesn’t love them back? Nope. Didn’t think so. So you know what? I don’t think it’s the fact that I’m not looking for a relationship that is the cause of my unhappiness; I don’t just want a boyfriend or a girlfriend and it’ll take someone fairly special to change my mind. So I don’t know about the rest of you but I intend to get back to enjoying being single, and before anyone jumps in to tell me that the heart doesn’t work like that I am fully aware that I will be feeling fairly crappy for a while. However I have no intention of going out to look for a relationship, such a one would be false and unfair; I’ve tried that and it doesn’t work for me.
As Miss UD pointed out I’ve been miserable for a while, yes I’m stressed, I’m discovering that some of my life choices may not suit me after all. They’d be the ones that I haven’t had time to try out properly before ie. becoming a teacher. The ones that I’m happy with I’ll stick to; I’d like to think that my friends thought me self-aware enough to understand what causes me happiness and go with it but as I’ve said before I’m much too good at keeping myself to myself and so probably you’re all going to go on thinking me a self-deluded freak who just needs a boyfriend to sort her out.
Before anyone else verbalises this idea can you take a minute to consider the timing of telling me I should get a boyfriend?