Kyoto, Polyamory and Betting Odds

If you want a full itinery of what we did in Kyoto then have a look at Skimble’s blog. I think that that city is probably the most beautiful I’ve seen and definately the most fabulous city in Japan that I’ve been to (making a grand total of six cities that I’ve been to in Japan!) I think that the best trip out was Himeji-jo which is called the White Castle, it’s the biggest castle in Japan and I think that everyone should go.

Hanging round Kyoto with Skimble and the Tennessee Marshmallow I reckon that I’ve learnt more about Japanese history than I ever would have just reading books. I also feel a bit better about Japanese, I met a girl who was fluent in six languages the other week. She said that when she was learning her fourth (which was German) the same thing happened to her as me, she started to lose the others (in her case English and Japanese) and she said the only way she managed was to try and keep them all to the same standard. So I’ve sent away for some refresher books in French and Spanish and I’m going to talk to my South American students (out of class!) in Spanish and see if Mixed Bag is up for talking to me in French. I will not lose my languages and I will not let nihongo beat me!

I found this on the web the other day, it’s an article on the joys of polyamory and the evils of monogamy. Now I believe totally that you can love more than one person at once, that there are various shades of love (and yes ok I have issues with love, with the levels of trust you can put in it etc.etc. but that’s a point for another time) and that polyamory is the way forward for me (and hopefully for the two lovely gentlemen I’m currently involved with). However the article in question makes the old (in that I have read two other books making the same point and am willing to bet that there are others) argument that monogamy is an un-natural state, the article in question goes on to suggest that monogamy is complicit in our disconection from the society around us and from the fate of the earth as well.

Sorry, seems a bit too neat for me. Monogamy leads to environmental disaster, well hurrah for finding that one out. I posted on Orkut my thoughts about this one as well. Nope not going there. Social orthodoxy and the desire to conform lead us into caring more about the trappings than the thing itself (and thus if we follow the article’s reasoning all the way to environmental disaster because the planet isn’t so important as the trappings of the planet). Social orthodoxy and the desire to conform within relationships, I suspect is what leads us to loveless marriages and fearful relationships and all I hate and dislike and downright fear about coupling up. If we can get rid of that, then we have succeeded in overcoming the power that drives us all to become grey. That numbing, emotionless snake that seems to sit inside everyone urging them into whatever pattern seems most likely to have them conform, to be Mr and Mrs to be something other than their real selves, the passsionate centre that also lurks beneath the surface.

If, as is suggested, polyamory becomes the new orthodoxy then what happens to the people who want to love only one person, who believe that they should be able to settle down as a pair and raise children? Will they be accused of selfishness, of not doing what is right by their kids? ‘You’ve only given them two role-models to relate to, how can they become well-rounded individuals?’ I suspect so, the snakes will speak, they always do, and infect the spider-lights with their pervasive greyness. As soon as there is a percieved norm, that is the problem, as soon as people start asserting that others should not go against this norm, that is the problem doesn’t matter if the people involved in the norm or the percieved rebellion are polyamorous, monogamous, monosexual or polysexual, the price that comes with freedom is accepting that everyone around you is free as well not bound by your own constraints, which should be of your own choosing.

Why is it people always see freedom as this huge concept and when it is brought down to the personal level they find it insulting?

So back to the race since it’s only next week, if I was betting it would be for Joly Bey (currently 16-1), Forest Gunner, Carrie Ford’s horse is at 12-1 so if I was on a feminist kick I’d go with her (still not convinced by the trainer despite the fact the jockey and the horse are fabulous). If I wanted an outside bet I might well go with Monty’s Pass, he’s a sweet horse. Clan Royal is at 10-1, he is one of O’Neill’s horses and I like O’Neil, Amberleigh House is at 9-1 but I am not backing Ginger McCain after his comments. Bastard, and yes I’m aware of the irrationality of my thoughts but I’m not going near that stable in a million years.

I’m not sure why I care really, can’t bet in this country afterall.

8 thoughts on “Kyoto, Polyamory and Betting Odds

  1. Interesting article you found on the polyamory/monogamy debate, if a bit preachy. What intrigues me is why so many people who want to lead alternative (for want of a better word) lives seem to feel the need to bang on about how everything would be wonderful if only everyone else did just what they do? It’s rather sad really.

    I mean yes, I’m well aware that it can be tiring sometimes to be perceived as ‘not normal’, but I would far rather encourage people to think for themselves, and then reach for what *they* want, than to attempt to create another stagnant utopia.

    My rule of thumb is…

    Unfold your own psyche in the company of those you choose to be with, but we’ll all have a better crack at that if we choose not to piss in anyone’s chips!


  2. At the risk of sounding preachy for my own beliefs, but I think relevant to the discussion: there is no law beyond Do what thou Wilt.

    What is right for one person is not necessarily right for all, the only people who can decide are those directly affected and then only by their closely examining themselves with fairly brutal honesty. Just my opinion (obviously :-)).

  3. I’ll go with the self-examination bit John, but as a wiccan fluff-bunny would have to argue with the ‘do what thou wilt be the whole of the law’ bit, and personally plump for ‘Harm none and do what thou wilt’. Affecting other people is something that we can’t help by our very existence on this planet but the least we can do is take them into consideration before acting :).

  4. Really rather depends which part of St. Augustine’s writings you go and look at. That bloke changed his mind a lot if I remember correctly.

  5. Beats me…I have very little idea of these Christian fellows…it was just a wee one-liner I heard from Mogg, or one of the other non-aligned Thelemites of my acquaitance!


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