Just Some Slut

The title is a bit unfair I do admit but as I have remarked in the past, I’d rather get in first with that one. My outlook on life in general and sex in particular is well open to mis-interpretation, I know this, I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that occaisionally people are going to think I’m just some easy lay who’s out for a ‘good time’ TM. And yeah, that includes people I count as friends, acquaintances and all the rest of it. Well my choice of ‘lifestyle’ (ugh, I hate putting it like that but when it comes right down to it language is about effective communication rather than expression sometimes) is a bit odd so it’s always going to be down to misinterpretation, if it really bothered me I’d be settling down in some CoE (Wicca is down to misinterpretation) rated house and getting pregnant right about… oooh… NOW!

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against the sainted CoE. I have nothing against women choosing to have babies, 25 really isn’t that young to decide to have them, and settling down in a ‘normal’ relationship, even a marriage, thats good too. I couldn’t do it but I’m not up for judging the trappings of a life. I might have some harsh things to say about your inner life, but only if you don’t have one, and I do apologise for being quite so judgemental… I try not to be.

In anycase, I know, what people are likely to think about me. I take the jokes about boyfriend franchises lightly. I like to get in with the comments about who exactly has slept with me first. I do like people to know what I am up for though, I want you to know what I’m about, because, all this… living is me. All of what I do is about expressing me (and really it does it far better than the words do). I’m in an easier position than some, because I’m a girl, I know and I am eternally glad that I am less likely to get thumped for coming onto girls… lads, well there the knives are in definate warning… except that it’s me.

I have few rules as to my conduct… well more now I’m in this serious relationship thingy. But for the last four years? five years? I have not done anything with someone when I knew that their partner would object. (Though I have sailed closer to the wind on that one than I would have liked to.) I know that there are several people around here who, if someone else is in a serious relationship do not give that relationship thought. I’d at least like to think that I do. I might not regard kissing as serious, but I do ask the girlfriend/boyfriend in question if they do. Further than kissing? It’s not going to happen unless I think that the other person/people involved are ok with it (now yeah, that might not be all the way ok, present and cheering along, but ok all the same).
Obviously now I’m in a relationship then the same things pretty much extend the other way… althought frankly if I’m jumping on someone it’s safe to say that the relevant parties have had the relevant conversations and/or aproval meters checked.

I’m in a polyamorous relationship with slightly open boundaries… this is because it suits me and the people involved. It’s a personal thing, not so much with the politics of the situation. The idea of swingers parties or wife-swapping has me going ‘ick’. It’s all so organised and that doesn’t appeal. I like people not the notion alone. But like I said before, if thats what has you and your relevant other going then that’s all to the good and stay happy. (I’ll refuse any invites that way though) Things that happen, I like, and I try to enter into with a certain amount of thought, things that are planned in that way… they seem too false to me.

We all know I’m trying to grow a soul after all…

So thats me, two boyfriends, no current lovers, some former, and a lot of friends. I’m likely to stay this way too. If it doesn’t suit, tough.

12 thoughts on “Just Some Slut

  1. The CoE is offended by your words nevertheless! Soon a crack hit squad of kindly old ladies will knock politely on our door, offering you tea, cake and a good natter. Then you’ll be sorry! Oh yes!

    We may have to work on our hit squads. Let’s ask the catholics for advice, they do it much better.

  2. I don’t think that people were meant to try to get everything they need from a relationship from just one person.. I never have. The fact that I’m married reflects a commitment to my husband, not a belief that there will never be anyone else (and I’d be quite happy to cheer him along if he falls in love with someone, too :))

    Though I have to admit I’m very very curious about the dynamics of how you handle it. I’m just trying to find a good way of asking about it… 😀

  3. I think it’s very easy to confuse what one wants & needs, as an individual, with what other people might want & need. There really is no ‘meant to’ in this sort of thing, diversity genuinely does abound.

    The trick is in knowing what you want & need, and in making choices to fulfil that, without falling into the trap of needing to regard that as the one true way in order to justify your choice.

  4. Oh, I agree with you there Jez. I spent 6+ years in what can only be described as a mentally abusive relationship because I did not see clearly regarding need when I went into it. These things always have to be handled with utmost empathy – but then, I have always put the needs of the other person(s) before those of myself anyway.

    People have to be taken as they are, and allowed to be what they are. I know.. I was in a relationship where nothing I did was right.

  5. On a related issue, it’s also kinda easy to confuse what you want and what you need in and of themselves – the two don’t always match and it can be tricky to separate them out.

  6. This sort of thing is the reason that there is some virtue in Crowley’s insistence that, before we can achieve very much on this earth, we must make an effort towards finding our True Will.

  7. Catholic and CoE hit squads aside thanks for the comments guys.

    Nordic Lady ask away. You get to see me on Mondays so I’m very curious as to how you percieve the whole situation.

    I think the Crowley thing is why I reccomend being single so much, I have stated before on this blog that I think that before you commit yourself to someone else then you have to have some idea of who you are that you are committing. If everything has to come back to Crowley then True Will is a better place than most.

  8. *smiles*

    I mentioned Crowley as he is someone most of us here are aware of who wrote intelligently, and in some detail, on the subject.

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