So, between the years of 2000 and 2004 I learnt how to throw one hell of a party. I feel this should be passed on to all people everywhere.
My advice will of course be interspersed with musings on having just held an awesome party.
Rule 1. Do not aim for anything less than excellent but be aware that the sort of parties people will be talking about a decade later cannot be planned for.
The exception to this would be when you put out the word that this party is The Last of it’s kind and must therefore be epic…people really do pull out the stops then. Ask anyone about My Last party as an undergraduate and this will be confirmed.
You can tell when a party is going to be excellent though by the buzz it generates. I couldn’t get over how many people were talking about what to wear for this one though…and not just FJ and Archie in their suits and bowties, even if PulsarKris’s was a clip on. The Teenage Boy let me down though – not a tie in sight although very smart in his waistcoat.
Rule 2. Excellent parties require food, drink and something to smoke. These things should be in separate places to make people move around and socialise.
The best parties I gave were in the webcam house – a large Victorian Terrace I lived in in my third year. Kitchen for food, front room for drink and smokers outside or in the spare room which wasn’t on camera. In last night’s case food was being circulated (unsucessfully as the German from Barrow needed feeding a little before midnight) – this doesn’t work unless you ALSO have a stationary food pile! The drink was on the big table in the central room and people were smoking in the backyard.
Rule 2a If an employee of the local police force rather than the local stoner is the person telling you where all the illegal substances in the area are then do not expect such substances to turn up at your party.
Of course this means if you do want such substances at your party then you need to talk to non-residents of the area…any friends of friends showing up at the last minute are also more likely to share with the host should this be a concern of yours…
Rule 2b If you know that some of your guests are habitual users of illegal drugs then you need to tell them whether these things are acceptable or not at your party.
Some of these stories might be great fun to recount…
Remember when she forgot to tell people that the cakes were made with hash?
Remember when so and so got so stoned that he couldn’t stop looking at bits of fluff?
Remember when so and so fell into a K-hole?
Some of them might not…
Rule 3 Be chilled out
Control freakery does not for a good party make. Sure, tell people when to show up and tell them when to leave but just let them come and have fun.
I really like having a drop in afternoon followed by a civilised evening. It means that there are already lots of people around by the time party hour rolls around. Chilling out also means being ready to accept people half an hour before and hours after start time. Have a book to read in case no one shows up and tidy up the day before! (That’s the one I always fail at and should really insert – warn guests that showing up on time may result in being involved in party-prep! Thankyou Erfie!)
Accepting things as they come is also why The Interupter ended up organising the shots – The Starving German had just explained she’d had no food so emergencie noms needed preparation.
Rule 4 Good Music
Have a playlist of bouncy tunes – They Might Be Giants are awesome for parties.
My favourite part of last night was dancing in the front room to DaftPunk with M-i-L, Chunderboy, Enthusiastic and somebody else who momentarily escapes me. Not quite as good as dancing to Tetris a few years ago but not far off!
Rule 5 Have Sensible People Who’ll Help With Clear Ups
The Jellicle would be most displeased if I didn’t mention this. You get to do the clearing up as host and it helps if there are sensible people around to direct potential throw-ups. The Jellicle does this by forming a Brute Squad, on the Squad last night were The Rabid Atheist, the Jellicle and The Gold Dwarf to whom I gave several lessons in kissing. That’s something I thought I’d left behind about ten years ago.
But mainly, it’s all about Rule 3. The washing machine broke and filled the utility room floor with water about three hours in and my cocktail shakers had not left London. However Beaker had a sleeping bag, FJ bought me a new shaker, The Interupter and DS Luke brought theirs, and the party was awesome: the symbl was of truly epic proportions, also the explosives in the back alley, haven’t seen a traffic cone lift off that high in a long time, The Gold Dwarf ate a scorpion at midnight, lesbians experimented with each other throughout the night, I had my first kiss of the New Year with The Live Rep because her boyfriend was ill and mine was snogging his boyfriend, somebody had interesting substances in the backyard and we let off Chinese Lanterns.
Couldn’t have gone much better in my opinion!
Happy New Year!