I love Yuletide, I just absolutely love it, all the things to share with people and make joyful in the middle of the cold.
Last year I just couldn’t connect with it, I don’t think I’d quite realised that I was heavily dissociated from everything this time last year, I just knew I was sad following a breakup.
A lot of my sense of self still seems like it’s impossible for me to connect with. For some of that I’m mimicking past behaviours until it connects again. A lot of this past year has been spent with me trying to do the usual things of my life and being incredibly sad that I wasn’t sharing them as I had expected to do.
I’m still not as pure bouncy happy as I know I often am this time of year, but it absolutely is better than the almost complete dissociation last year.