Random Melancholia

I felt happy earlier and now am sad. I’m not sure why. I’ve had a very relaxing day, and then I made a very large roast which will transmogrify into a vegetable stew tommorrow. And I had a fun time playing Mokey Ball with my housemates (I’m really bad at it but not as bad as FFG :P).

My sister is doing big and serious things at the weekend; ie. telling my parents that as of last week her boyfriend has a child by his ex-girlfriend. She was intending to tell them this weekend that his ex was pregnant, unfortunately for the idea of easing them in the child was premature… I can’t really see Dad being too happy about this state of affairs. Its nice that he likes the boyf already…but even so my dad has ideas about what boyfriends should and shouldn’t do and I think fairly high up on the list of shouldn’ts is ‘getting ex’s pregnant’.

I can’t give her any advice. I’ve never really been in this situation before nor do I have any close friends who do. My only experience of such phenomena is via daytime TV, Ricky Lake and the like. All I can do is repeat to her what she already knows about the characters of our parents (Gods know what she will do when it gets to Grandma!) and offer Lancaster as a sanctuary.

We were talking about weddings and getting married earlier in the living room (not seriously because that really would freak out both me the couples involved). Various wedding musics…and unfortunate muzaks…but of course there are people who are getting married right now, and a coupld not a million miles away *cough*Man of Taste and Miss UD*cough* who are beginning to sound more ‘when’ than ‘if’.

When did everybody but me, including my little sister, grow up? I mean I was getting giggly and girly with the Last Not-Stalkee the other night and it struck me even then. We weren’t being giggly about a boyfriend; it was a fiancee. People are talking about houses and morgages and pensions and unions I mean not the NUS but job type unions. My Dad and me had a grown up conversation comparing NUT, NASUWT and NSEAD this afternoon. When did I have to start being old? So maybe my melancholia isn’t because everybody started being serious except me but rather because everybody including me is getting serious.

In either case I’m here in my room and wondering why my head doesn’t quite seem to fit my shoulders any more and why is there still a twelve year old in the middle of Mish who currently seems to be making all the descisions?

The Curious Orange said he had a puerile sense of humour earlier…I seem to have a puerile soul. Surely theres something wrong with that?

4 thoughts on “Random Melancholia

  1. *ahem*

    even if it is a ‘when’ rather than an ‘if’ it’s still a 10 years away ‘if’.

    No, really!

    Another year doing an MA. A year in Office (hopefully) or in work for me. Three to five years doing a PhD (funding dependent – might have to work and do it part time). Add that up and it’s up to seven years. By which time we will be stony broke and looking for jobs – never mind spending money on frivolous things like weddings! 😉

    See, I don’t get freaked out talking about stuff like this. I’m not a committment phobic for a start (*disclaimer* please note that I did not say anyone was, just that I am not) I like to have an idea of where I’m going in life and who I’m likely with. And now, after a year, I am becoming more and more comfortable with the idea of having The Man of Taste beside me for the forseeable future. I don’t feel trapped by that in the slightest.

    (And anyway, my theory is that should the Man of Taste and I still be together in 10 years time, I reckon we might not make too bad a stab at married life…)

    Besides, something makes me think that Morticia and DJ might be running down the isle before me and The Man of Taste are seriously thinking about anything like that…

  2. And not in a fucking white dress, I can tell you that for sure.

    Actually, that’s still a way off considering we reckon we’d quite like to have a normal relationship first. You know, one of those ones where you actually _see_ each other…

    Anyway, yes, why I actually came on here to post before I got sidetracked by my wedding-dress rant was a hearty "Thank God!". Don’t worry, Mish, I think this is all perfectly normal. This ‘when the hell did I grow up?’ thing is catching, and many people have it at the mo (including me). It’s the horror that you can no longer think about going out and having a good time and start to think responsibly about things like mortgages and pensions and who knows what else.

    It’s part of my latest moan, that since I’ve gone to work, I am either a) awake, in work b) at home, asleep, which is all very well and I’m not eating into my overdraft doing it, but it’s not much fun.

    And I don’t like it. I don’t like it one bit.


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