I exist. I exist. I exist.
I am here.
(and here and here) floating amongst the spider lights and reaching out, in between all the tangles of light that reach out to me; and reaching out with my own light to them, and between them, and forging new threads of spider light until the whole of my existence is a webbed mat of lights.
I exist I exist and I’m here, just here, and there, and there, and everyone is talking and reaching and we exist in the words and the thoughts as well as just here. (and here)
It is sunny today and I can feel the sunlight on my face and neck, and on my arms and hands, and I am walking down the street and into my classroom and talking and making and writing and doing, and I am hearing and listening and talking and my existence is a body and hands that are separate and my own.
I exist and I live and I’m here, just here, and here and here and here, and everyone is here, and there and here, and we exist in these encasements of skin and bones and blood, and we breathe and pump our pinkness suffusing our translucent skins, and lick our lips until they shine under the sun; and I am a spider light sharing with other lights my thoughts, and words, and ideas.
The more I learn about the horrible things that human beings do to each other and do to their children the more I think that people do not like their fleshy existence and these abuses are taken out on it in protest.
I am a spider light shining in a huge web of spider lights, and I love it.
I am a body creating things with my hands and talking with my tongue and lips and mouth, and I love it.
Why must we separate out all these things that we are and put them in neat little boxes? Once we box all our parts then we start to prioritise the parts, how can we say one part of me is more important than the other parts?
My soul is more important than my body so I shall starve myself?
My body is more important than my soul so I shall never consider God?
My soul is more important than my body so I shall beat my body for its very existence?
My body is more important than my mind so I shall never learnt to read?
My mind and my soul and my body exist and they are all me and they are together what allows me to live, what allow me to experience this curl, this loop, this woven web of spider-lights. So I shall eat good foods, read all that I can, pray and meditate with love and curiousity, drink fine wines, discuss all that I think and believe, worship in woods and dales and glens,make love to beautiful people, see everything that I can find to see in art galleries, cathedrals, forests and temples, laugh with joy every breathing moment that I can.
I exist I exist I exist and I am alive with joy and misery and love and sorrow and I am sailing over the most beautiful chasm of grief and happiness, anger and pleasure. I am here and I can make things. I am here and I can think things. I am here with a mouth to express all that my light cannot show to you and I am here with my eyes that shine and express all that my mouth lacks vocabulary for and I am here and my light is shining into yours and into yours and into yours and it is threading itself spider thin through all that your light shines into others.
I am here.