I feel completely and utterly ashamed of myself.
I have no musical taste whatsoever, this is a standard fact that is bandied about my various circles of friends. I would like to take this opportunity to again point out that I did not buy that damn S Club 7 albulm it was a freebie from bloody Brittania; I did buy Aqua Aquarium though.
In anycase, musically I know I have no taste but I do hate Celine Dion, shes sentimental to the point of excruciating sweetness and goes on too long. And shes just really really wet! I mean come on I’ve seen Titanic the music`s all melodramatic sentiment (watch A Night To Remember somebody dear gods please!)….I used to get that way about Take That when I was about eleven (I was friends with the older kids who basically indoctrinated me into Nirvana)…anyway, what I’m trying to say is that despite the fact that I do like Aqua and TaTu I do have some limits. At least I always thought I did.
My Phillipino friend took me to Karaoke the other night.
She loves English songs. As in English language songs.
She loves Celine Dion, and every song she chose was Celine Dion. And she had an English person to sing them withm so she asked me to sing everyone song with her.
I am not ashamed about that. It made her happy. It made me wince…but I winced more later.
I am ashamed about this; I knew every single word to those bloody songs and they didn’t stop coming. I knew every lyric to every cringeworthy note, I knew every melodramatic pause or over strain. I didn’t have to think, I knew the words better than the fan next to me.
How is it that I can forget the ending to Hamlet (yet I’ve been in the play), I can imagine whole chapters to books that I love, I can forget whole episodes significant to my existence and yet I know every fucking word Celine Dion has written?!
Well thats an exageration (I hope). But I just opened my mouth and these lyrics came out. Not only that though, I do sort of know why I know those words. Because everysong placed me somewhere else. I knew that one was the song that played before East 17 ‘Stay’ at Becky Wood’s birthday party, ‘Stay’ being the song that my best friend danced with the boy I fancied at the time.
One was a song that was playing as I stepped off the school bus into the middle of a ‘significant’ (in terms of my adolescence) fist fight. I could tell you the exact nature of every bloody song. Mostly in terms of tears and blood because I’m a melodramatic soul really. But really I am ashamed of my memory, I’ve learnt (aparently) reams of useless adolescent crap and forgotten any formulas learnt in Physics barring F=MA. I’ve memorised the emotional equivalent of a faux-wood plastic table and I can’t tell you the dates of anything I learnt in History.
I can’t remember anything real but stick Celine Dion and probably most other pop songs around from the late eighties onwards and I’ll tell you the lyrics and what I was doing at a time of personal significance.
So music gets to me, but once again I’ve proved I’m alive in a frame with no taste. It’ll memorise anything except the real stuff. On the other hand my memory is crap but if you put a shitty pop song on I’ll instant recall the relevant information when you play it back.
Maybe I should compile a list of MP3s for them to play in the Nursing Home.
List of MP3s for them to play in the Nursing Home:
Celebrity Skin – Hole – Jenny L
Stay -East 17 – Anthony M
In The Living Years -Mike and the Mechanics – Vicky W
Rotterdam – Beautiful South – Ashley W
One Of Us Must Know – Bob Dylan – Alex W
Barbie Girl – Aqua – Briony C
Isn’t It Awfully Nice To Have A Penis – Monty Python – Helen W
Man I Feel Like A Woman – Shania Twain – Lorna M
The Time Warp – Rocky Horror Show – Sam BC
Tainted Love – Marilyn Manson – J. Crafter
Me and The Dolphins – Alysha`s Attic – El S.
Hot Summer Night – Meatloaf – Tom L
Seven Seas of Rhye – Queen – Craig S
I Saw The Sign – Ace of Base- Kate J
A Moment To Myself – Macey Gray – Zoe P
Dead From The Waist Down – Catatonia – Tor
I’m A Believer – The Monkees – Craig B
The Gladiator Soundtrack – Richard G
You Were Right – Badly Drawn Boy – Sam W
The Bad Touch – The Bloodhound Gang – Michelle W
Thunderchild – War Of The Worlds – Jason S
Floating In Space – Spiritualized – Steve O
Lily, Rosemary and The Jack of Hearts – Joan Baez – Paul T
All The Things She Said – TaTu – Kat C