Japan is monthes and monthes behind everyone else when it comes to movies so Skimble and I went to see the Phantom movie this afternoon. And yes we went with the lowest possible expectations. And yes the movie itself was pretty dire; when you get more excited over the casting of Firman and Madame Giry than you do over the first appearance of the Phantom then you know the movie’s in trouble! Simon Callow could’ve been cast as Phantom…anyway obviously it would’ve helped for the Phantom to have been able to sing throughout the movie, for the Phantom to have been much, much older and much more deformed and numerous other points that were simply WRONG and BAD! If you want to read a much more thorough review than I am going to attempt then visit The Naiad’s December 16th Entry or Skimble’s February 6th Entry..
I have never really found The Point of No Return to be a particularly erotic song before, and the fact that it was more arrousing than Music of The Night is just insane! However it was nice to note that the most erotic kiss in the whole film was between Christine and the Phantom…though this could have been my penchant for homoeroticism having been nicely stoked by Raoul and the Phantom earlier (breath control anybody?)

Now, I have been compared to Christine before now (bows towards her Phantom) which doesn’t hold water if you’ve ever heard me sing…I was also compared to bloody Buffy by the same person, neither comparison particularly enamoured me and I ended up blonde because of the latter! However both comparisons have held rather unfortunate amounts of water when viewed in a particular light. And for me this was the Point of No Return between the Phantom and Christine. She recognises him on stage and she doesn’t signal to Raoul where he is. She sings as though she’s going to go through with the whole charade and you really believe she will. And when she lifts his mask you honestly don’t think she’s going to, and you don’t get any sense of her being an evil conniving bitch, or particularly brave, just being a bit dumb really and removing the mask simply because it’s the next thing to do.
Now normally I am routing for Christine to go off with the Phantom and Raoul to piss off and die. This film gave me an interesting twist; voting for Madame Giry to go off with the Phantom and Meg to snog Raoul and Christine to piss off and die!

It wasn’t as bad as I was expecting, but then I was expecting pure and simple travesty. I need to get hold of a copy of Julian Sands masturbating with rats in order to ‘wash’ myself off but I’m sure I’ll find one somewhere. Also Skimble and I went for our usual threesome in CoCo’s and ended up sitting very, very quietly afterwards feeling like we should be in bed with a cigarette! So it didn’t totally suck as softcore porn!

Oh yes thats better (just listened to the original cast recording)…if the first chords of The Music of the Night don’t get your knickers wet there is something deeply wrong with the performance!

6 thoughts on “Phantom

  1. "Now normally I am routing for Christine to go off with the Phantom and Raoul to piss off and die. This film gave me an interesting twist; voting for Madame Giry to go off with the Phantom and Meg to snog Raoul and Christine to piss off and die!"

    Given our outfits for the next Hallow’en bar crawl, this would mean Jo and I go off together, Mandy and Luke (you met him once or twice, he’s Bosie’s successor in LURPS) get it on, and Beth goes off to weep. I don’t like that idea, I must admit, why can’t it be a fivesome? 😛

    Yes, the film was dire, and awful, and horrendous… But on the good side, Emmy Rossum is soooo cute.

  2. I know who Luke is. His phone number appeared mysteriously on my mobile once after I got very very stoned/pissed.

    I have another take slightly ignoring halloween outfits. You and the Naiad obviously, Mandy and Luke can snog and then she can mysteriously discover her own demon lover (the beautiful Nymph leaves the claw/teeth/bruise marks of a demon! I remember my neck after their first wedding!) And come on doesn’t Meg Giry just deserve a phantomesque lover at times?

    Then how about I fade out of existence at this point. You can’t deny me my position of Christine! Christine never married her Phantom! Then the Girys and Phantoms can have a foursome and invite Darkside Luke if they feel like it?!

  3. I thought that might be how you were seeing it. And after Lil Giry’s 21st, it fits nicely.

    Well, Christine is in Japan. It does make it kinda hard you know.

    *wanders back to the Phantom’s lakeside quaters*

  4. Yes I heard my dear! Sounded like fun! And as for Christine being in Japan…well we’re after the end of the story now; the Phantom mysteriously dissapears, Christine leaves to ostensibly marry Raoul (but in this world she’s much too Holly Golightly for that!) And who else would the Phantom turn to but Mrs. Phantom and the ever ready Mina Giry? (Especially after that film!) 🙂

  5. Well, in the film if you notice, she ends up going off with Raoul’s brother. (Look at her gravestone)

    Ohh the incestuous fun…

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