Japan is monthes and monthes behind everyone else when it comes to movies so Skimble and I went to see the Phantom movie this afternoon. And yes we went with the lowest possible expectations. And yes the movie itself was pretty dire; when you get more excited over the casting of Firman and Madame Giry than you do over the first appearance of the Phantom then you know the movie’s in trouble! Simon Callow could’ve been cast as Phantom…anyway obviously it would’ve helped for the Phantom to have been able to sing throughout the movie, for the Phantom to have been much, much older and much more deformed and numerous other points that were simply WRONG and BAD! If you want to read a much more thorough review than I am going to attempt then visit The Naiad’s December 16th Entry or Skimble’s February 6th Entry..
I have never really found The Point of No Return to be a particularly erotic song before, and the fact that it was more arrousing than Music of The Night is just insane! However it was nice to note that the most erotic kiss in the whole film was between Christine and the Phantom…though this could have been my penchant for homoeroticism having been nicely stoked by Raoul and the Phantom earlier (breath control anybody?)
Now, I have been compared to Christine before now (bows towards her Phantom) which doesn’t hold water if you’ve ever heard me sing…I was also compared to bloody Buffy by the same person, neither comparison particularly enamoured me and I ended up blonde because of the latter! However both comparisons have held rather unfortunate amounts of water when viewed in a particular light. And for me this was the Point of No Return between the Phantom and Christine. She recognises him on stage and she doesn’t signal to Raoul where he is. She sings as though she’s going to go through with the whole charade and you really believe she will. And when she lifts his mask you honestly don’t think she’s going to, and you don’t get any sense of her being an evil conniving bitch, or particularly brave, just being a bit dumb really and removing the mask simply because it’s the next thing to do.
Now normally I am routing for Christine to go off with the Phantom and Raoul to piss off and die. This film gave me an interesting twist; voting for Madame Giry to go off with the Phantom and Meg to snog Raoul and Christine to piss off and die!
It wasn’t as bad as I was expecting, but then I was expecting pure and simple travesty. I need to get hold of a copy of Julian Sands masturbating with rats in order to ‘wash’ myself off but I’m sure I’ll find one somewhere. Also Skimble and I went for our usual threesome in CoCo’s and ended up sitting very, very quietly afterwards feeling like we should be in bed with a cigarette! So it didn’t totally suck as softcore porn!
Oh yes thats better (just listened to the original cast recording)…if the first chords of The Music of the Night don’t get your knickers wet there is something deeply wrong with the performance!