You think that after a year of causing other people stress that you can put things behind you, maybe build some bridges and rebuild some friendships. You think that since you aren’t even in the same country as they are that theres no way you can annoy them or cause them hassle.
As you are leaving the country you are aware that you probably owe your book club some money, you aren’t sure that you haven’t paid the book club the money though and they haven’t sent you a bill. So you send a polite little letter to them explaining that you no longer want to be a member as you are leaving the country but mentioning that you will pay any outstanding bills.
You repeatedly ask your boyfriend if there have been any letters from the book club. He repeatedly says no or is vague. You say that this is important and he can open your mail to check. He refuses on principle. It takes you weeks to convince him that you need him to open your credit card bills so you know how much to pay online. He refuses to open any other letters. He promises to send you all your letters. He knows how important this is. You assume that the book club have no outstanding bills and that you were being paranoid. Obviously your boyfriend would have posted on any outstanding bills by now.
As far as you can tell you are too far away to cause stress anymore…
Then your boyfriend finds a pile of letters that he forgot to post on. You do owe your bookclub money…from over six months ago, this bothers you but you quickly post off a cheque hoping for the best. Four days later your ex-housemate informs you that there are lawyers turning up on Monday for you at your old house. Because in your mind you’ve already paid the bookclub it takes a bit of a while for you to put two and two together and you start wondering if you owed anyone else money…and then you wonder how long it takes for post to arrive from Japan. And then you realise that you aren’t too far away to cause stress anymore, in fact it seems that your very existence on this planet is enough to induce anxiety, worry and general botheredness in anyone who has had the bad luck of living or otherwise associating with you.
To the current occupants of 18; The Yellow Dart, Radio Steve, Giggles and Wrong Mike I know I’ve done it again but please don’t worry, I don’t live at your house anymore, wave your housing contracts at whoever turns up and that should be enough, or tell them to look on the electoral register and I should be registered as an overseas voter (though I haven’t had paperwork back cofirming this).
So yeah I’m pissed off at the Jellicle and I know that it’s all displacement annoyance at myself for not getting things properly sorted out before I left but mostly I’m filled with that sort of sick disbelief in myself, an ‘oh for Gods sakes not again’ hangover from a year that I thought I had quite deservedly flushed into non-existence.