So a little while ago it was fashionable to write a biography in your blog to elucidate people who weren’t sure about who you were and where you came from.

After The Jellicle Cat claimed I had a mysterious past I thought I might offer a little illumination into the world of Mish… please, read on:

My soul was summoned to this earth in about 1972 (this explains my fashion sense and lack of taste), I was actually born some ten years later in Fish City to two teachers (descendants of Colonel Sanders and Joyce Grenfall) who took me back to Royston Vasey in the Green County some time afterwards.

It should be explained here that the Green County operates in a special time warp some fifty to eighty years behind the rest of the country (this explains my constant rebellion against social norms, many of which no longer exist).

Next door to me throughout my early childhood on one side lived the village witch and on the other, throughout my life, lived an Abba-junkie, my Godmother. My Godmother being married to my Godfather led me to believe all men with scottish accents were fantastically intelligent men of taste.

So before I left the confines of my village to attend the infamous Royston Vasey School foremost in the county for producing pill-popping, pot-toking students who coped very well with the rigours of academic life I had a grounding in basic magic, seventies music, and rebellion without a cause. After playing pooh-sticks (in accordance with the school rules) only on Fridays I suffered incredible set-backs in my chosen good causes (long hair, prostitution, anti-capitalism of all kinds, lesbianism and saving the planet) with the result that I decided to take a year out of Sixth Form to put on the play, ‘The Crucible’. It achieved rave reviews in the local and national presses (well, they had to travel back in time to see it) and I achieved fame within the tiny community of Rat Room as my friends wrote about my accident with a time machine causing a hideous incestuous mistake. I later descended into gladular fever but I don’t like to talk about it.

Between Sixth Form and university I took some time to visit a Shaman in Ecuador before declining his tea and then went and had a look at my results. Previous to my Ecuadorian trip I had applied to four universities and been turned down by two and accepted by two. Largely down to an unlucky love affair and a certain amount of misplaced academic snobbery I ended up at Lancaster studying Art and Art History for the next three years.

At university I continued my habit of enjoying the company of my elders, met the majority of my friends on a roof and stalked the rest in the name of art. I ended university in a house full of webcams after also visiting Mexico and the US. Continuing my study of magic I spent much of the summer between uni and teacher training college sitting in a magic shop pretending to paint and/or read. At teacher training college it was decided I was a prude, probably a virgin and almost certainly a lesbian, mainly I was reminded of school. After this I left for a country of Elves, Mountains and Cherry Blossom. I spent the last two years in Tolkein’s Middle Earth and am now back.

I hope that was useful.

2 thoughts on “Biography

Leave a Reply