Love and Relationships

If I have to do this polyamory thing then don’t tell me that it means my perspectives on Love and Relationships have changed that much. They haven’t. I’ve always said I was damn close to Wrong Mike in our perspectives. I still think that relationships suck independance out of a person, especially if you aren’t careful and I still think that loves a bitch. But if I’ve decided to go for this thing then I’m taking the highs and the lows. I’m taking the mountain and the valley, each fantastic dance and each fucking disembowelling knife thrust, each painted kitchen and each screaming, sobbing argument. Fuck this shit I’m not giving in to the Bitch yet, not without one hell of a fight.

6 thoughts on “Love and Relationships

  1. I was told recently that if I want to do the whole poly thing, then I need to learn how to let go and move on. It’s not easy, and I still have a lot to learn about seeing the positive things in everything…
    So hard when being abandoned is one of the greatest fears. (If I name my fears, will they have less power over me then?)

  2. Just like any other form of relationship, poly doesn’t have to be anything to do with letting go and moving on. It’s certainly one valid approach to poly, but only one. If it’s not the poly you want, then maybe another form will suit you better?

    I think naming fears is the first step, best of luck with the next one… ;o)

  3. Maybe I should specify the context, too. Letting go and moving on refers to anything that ends, and all relationships, but especially in poly where you have to remember to take good care of the remaining partner(s) and not let them suffer for something that they are not to blame for.

    I disagree with you, Jez, all relationships (if and when they end) have something to do with letting go and moving on, or you will end up obsessed with the relationship that ended 20 years ago.

  4. I see we are talking at cross purposes Ann, no worries.

    Some poly relationships are based on long term parts and short term parts, some are just based on one or the other. The degree to which letting go and moving on is important depends on what sort of relationship you have, and want.

    Obsession is another matter entirely, and not one I brought into the mix… ;o)

  5. šŸ™‚ I have a close-up example in the family of how detrimental it can be when someone can’t let go, so it’s something I’m looking out for and certainly don’t want to get caught in.

    I think I see what you mean, though.

  6. This is probably one of those conversations better had elsewhere, but I think we have a better idea what we each mean now.

    For me, if a connection is successfully made, then there may well come a time to transform it into something else, but I don’t tend to think of that as moving on or letting go. I’ve always been more of a Muto magus than a Perdo one!

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