You know what. Last night I went out to dance. I loved it. I had a great time at the Dark Side of the Lune. Had a fucking fantastic time. Part of that was because lots of people were out and I love you all. Everyone who was out last night on the dancefloor part of me loved you all. Including the ones I don’t know.
However, if someone were to tell me that I was going to spend the rest of my life in Lancaster and every Saturday night I would be down the Dark Side of the Lune I would despair, I would probably hang myself. And then attempt self-exorcism. This is not because I disliked the people or the night but I want to do things with my life that involve you know, not being in Lancaster. This may shock people.
I went out to dance last night. I didn’t go out to gossip about who is talking to who or get involved in some sort of social bitchiness. Oh hell I bitch like a fucking trooper, but you know what, I bitch about things that I’ve usually already told the person in question, I cna’t think of many people I dislike enough not to tell them exactly what concerns me about them. Maybe two people and neither of them live anywhere near me.
I don’t think I know anyone out last night who danced with me who I wouldn’t consider to be a friend or more than a passing acquaintance. I really do like each and every one of you guys.
If anyone describes me as being part of ‘Our Circle’, ‘Our Group’ or you know anything along those lines I’m going to kill someone. I am not part of any clique, I refuse to be your friend if being your friend means I have to be part of ‘your group’. I am my own Mish. Mish does not do groups. Mish is a solitary and single person, so for fucks sake stop including me in things. Parts of my life are beginning to feel like I’m living in Avondale Road and for anyone who wasn’t paying attention – that was not a particularly happy time for me.
I like to dance not this constant mould that seems to grow up in Lancaster.
I like to dance and have the tunes fill me up and float me out into the lights until I’m swimming in the sound.
Yeah I probably am going to be in Lancaster for the forseeable future, no that wasn’t part of my plan it just happens to be true so I’m making the best of it. Lancaster is not the be all and end all of all things.
For fucks sakes people out there start living your own lives. Make plans and stop enjoying being sucked into this whole morass of hell. Stop being so keen to douse your own flames, start living, please gods start being and trying and stop fucking extinguishing your own sparks.
This is life, go for it. Stop with the ‘Our circle’ shit please.
There is more to life than this place and these people. Be real. Start being real. Stop drowning in this shit.
If this entry means that you all want to strangle me or at least never speak to me again, by all means go for it.