So I looked up from my burrow today to discover that other things have been happening in the wonderful wide world of Lancaster.

I have some opinions.

Gossip is fun. Gossip is absolutely the best way to spend an afternoon with a mate.

Gossip should be taken with a pinch of salt. Because lets face it, it is incredibly easy to bitch about people who are going through problematic patches.

My main fault in that regard is Erfalaswen, Erfie makes decisions (not counting those she makes when drunk or any she made a few months ago when she was stressed out) that I disagree with on a fairly regular basis, or at any rate she makes decisions that had I been in her shoes I would have done differently. Lets face it the basis of a lot of gossip is going ‘oooh I can’t believe X did that’ or ‘I wouldn’t have done that’ or ‘I hope if I’m ever in that situation I do that.’ So I state things about Erfie, and my main defense tends to be ‘yeah but I’ve said this to her face’ and ‘if she was here I’d say this to her.’ These statements are true incidentally, but I do say it far too much and repeat myself when she is the subject of gossip.

Erfie, I would like to make a public apology for everything that I’ve said about you that I haven’t had chance to say to your face. If we get together at some point I will happily rectify that, or I can just make tea.

In anycase, I don’t beat myself up too much because I like gossip. I also like to be gossiped about (go on, go on, you know you want to my life is just so interesting) and I’m not too fussed if it’s positive or negative.

Another public statement I would like to make:


My personal opinion is that people make their own decisions and everyone fucks up. It is incredibly easy when someone fucks up to go on and on about people until you totally blacken their reputation. It is my opinion that that sometimes even gets done deliberately. I have never and would never do this because it’s shit. If you’re friends with someone then go with what they do and don’t tell everyone that they’re a shit if they’re not. If they are stop being friends with them and do them the curtesy of telling them that.

Oh yeah. My Gentleman Friend and I are not going out anymore, we don’t hate each other and we’re doing our damnedest to get onto some sort of even friendship keel. You can have whatever opinions you like about that, gossip if you want, but that’s what we’re doing.

I am still polyamorous – oh and about that, polyamory is about relationships not having lovers. If you are in a relationship with more than one person thats poly, if you are shagging about – no matter however many agreements and lengths you go to to make sure no one hurts then you are not poly. That’s just having lovers or shagging about depending on how you do it. Sorry, thems the breaks. Anyway, I’m still poly but I like my life, good friends, a lover and a boyfriend, and I think thats pretty much how I want things to be for now. Anyone who is stupid enough to think I’m going to be down the Bobbin next Saturday (or Byron’s party for that matter) looking to get laid is sadly mistaken.

Poly is a label that is getting bandied about a lot lately. It’s one that suits me at this point in my life and I’m happy to use it but don’t start using it about my behaviour whilst still at uni because that wasn’t poly that was me having lovers and making it up as I went along.

Hmmm. That was kind of ranty. Oh well.

8 thoughts on “Gossip

  1. But you are going to be at Byron’s party or the Bobbin, right?

    By the way, I can’t do anything with you tomorrow evening, even if you were up for it. There’s simply not enough time in the week for everything – damn this working 9-5, five-day-week nonsense…

    It would be nice to have a chat with you at some point though. What are you doing at the weekend?

  2. *stunned*

    I’m really not sure what to say in response to that Mish, because I feel pretty numb right now. I hadn’t been aware that my decisions and actions had been up for such public debate.

    I’m really not sure how I feel about that…

  3. Um… I’ve got to say I’m a little uncomfortable with your style of defending your friends, Mish.

    Weasel may have fucked up, for reasons not being specified here, but there’s nothing better at spreading gossip than announcing loudly, to people who may have not heard the rumour, that THERE IS NO TRUTH IN THE RUMOUR!

    In fact, I believe the concept has been used as the basis for a number of political comedies.

    "I just wish to say that there is categorically no truth in the rumour that the EU is wanting to standardise X, but if there was I would fight it until my dying breath."

    I’m just saying, Mish, be careful you don’t do more damage than you prevent.

  4. I’m not really sure I am defending my friends Archie. I’m giving my opinions.

    I think Weasel is a good bloke. I haven’t countered any rumours or spread them. Whatever any sort of truth may be (unless it comes out that he’s murderered someone) my opinion remains that Weasel is a good bloke.

    I hardly think my opinions in this instance are about to damage anyone except myself.

    Oh and Erfie, I don’t think gossip counts as public debate but if it does then I don’t think anyone can avoid being the subject of public debate in a reasonably small town unless they live in a small box and never come out.

  5. Gossip is fun. I like gossip. I don’t like lies however.

    I don’t even know Weasel, but all the collected gossip I’ve heard doesn’t paint him as a good bloke, just unaware other people have feelings and someone who is very lucky… but that’s an opinion based on gossip and I know that’s probably not very close to the truth. Although I have heard some things, again gossip, which give me greater concerns… but it’s just gossip.

    Gossip is fun, but only when it’s not considered true.

  6. Some days Princess I wonder how much you think before projecting views opinions etc…

    Plus the only reason I can find for your strong belief in weasal is that he is almost as outragous as you want to be, that and you have made out with him a few times… thats hardly evidence Princess

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