This is probably horrifyingly frank, some people will not want to read this.
It’s not just about quickies, it’s about my attitudes to sex in general.
Right, (hello Archie), let’s have a think about sex.
I really enjoy a good quickie. Now, Cosmopolitan magazine aside (‘rejuvenate your sex life by learning how to excel at the quickie!‘) I don’t think people think much of a good quickie. I suppose because it doesn’t take long it’s valued as somehow being lesser. People seem to do that to a lot of things, if it’s quick or short or whatever then it’s of less value than something that lasts. I disagree, I’m certainly not trying to get sex bunged into the throwaway culture but sex should be valued for itself and quickie sex can be AMAZING.
Sex should be valued for its ownself, please don’t get me wrong – marathons lasting most of the day (or indeed weekend…or in one very memorable case an extremely elongated weekend-not-quite-a-week) are also enjoyable but everyone knows this. Everyone expects this, and it’s almost as though sex is portrayed as having to be fourteen hour orgasmathons when speaking for myself, the feeling of ‘oh dear gods was that my fifteenth please somebody get me some water’ (or an icecream) whilst coming with that sensation of knackeredness from intense pleasure doesn’t always match-up to the sheer cloud of endorphins you get when you start your day by leaping on your partner in between showering and breakfast.
Sex is great, it’s fascinating and it’s interesting but people seem to have these bizarre preconceptions and it’s described so weirdly in the media that this basic fact seems to have been forgotten. Sex has all these permutations and is this most fantastic and gorgeous way of comunicating…of course, I’m not sure that, to return to my initial ‘woohoo’, quickie sex comes under my ‘Sex is Communication’ banner.
Quickie sex is all about…just knowing that you turn the other person on. I’ve yet to have a good quickie with a complete stranger, equally though, I’ve noticed (please forgive my lack of experience in this matter) that both extremes of sex – the marathon session lasting forever and the quickie lasting a couple of minutes – seem to end up a little forgotten when you get into the sexual rhythms of a long-term relationship. When it is just that ‘I have to go soon’ moment then there’s a certain amount of release, it’s not about tender communication, more about need, ‘we both need X, so let’s do it’.
Of course my personal prediliction for the subbier side of the D-S style of things means that I have a better time if it’s a case of the other person going ‘we both need X, so I’m going to do this’…
Mmmm heavenly endorphin cloud.
Thinking about it I tend to have more quickies with men than I have done with women, I’m not sure if that’s because women do tend to take longer in reaching orgasm or not though I’m sure that that has something to do with it. But then again theres that bizarre notion about sex again, it has been a while since I had sex and didn’t achieve orgasm however, the purpose of sex isn’t to achieve orgasm. If all I wanted was an orgasm I could just masturbate. Sex is about being with the other person, taking pleasure in their touch, and specifically their touch. I suppose that’s why I have such a broad definition of what sex actually is. I have had a better standard of epically breathtaking long sex with women than with men generally, I’d say that’s because women need time to gain confidence in one-anothers bodies, give them that time and then it’s always going to be amazing. Men in a general sense often seem to run out of ideas.
Orgasms are funny things…I think I’ve had so much sex that I’ve trained my body so that it gets into the orgasm response zone fairly speedily, almost as if it was saying ‘oooh, can we do this again, ooh I like this, come on right here’. I have a harder time actually stopping any sort of orgasm response or specifically trying to have one rather than another – my clit is just desperate to come sometimes, you can’t stop it and after two or three little clitoral orgasms unless I’m aiming for a multiple (and they still take me by surprise) anything else is unlikely, though not impossible.
I wonder if that’s why my favourite position is doggy style? It minimises clitoral stimulation (depending on how it’s done) and it means that I’m more likely to have a g-spot orgasm, which I prefer only really because of their rarity value.
Of course I’m sounding weirdly Freudian at this point (he reckoned that clitoral orgasms were juvenile and part of the progression to adulthood was embracing the vaginal orgasm) so I’m going to stop at this point.
Sex is great in all it’s forms. Embrace it.
Orgasms are a learned response. You can control them. (Well, I’m trying).
Ignore media notions of sex, people talk crap.
Quickie sex is especially great.