This year I felt something I have never done about this country before, I felt homesick. In many ways I meant to post this back in April when it was more relevant but had issues with this website and greymatter etc.etc.
I went to France and I had a good time with my family, this being the French speaking lot and the English speaking lot et al. But I missed Lancaster. I missed the Jellicle and Mother-in-Law and FJ and Weasel and the Teenage Boy and everyone. I missed Lancaster as a place, in the way that I miss Showa on the bad days. Or missed Showa more when I’d only just come back. I was walking around Paris, not regretting being there, but distinctly wanting to be home. I have a home. I have a home I get to stay in if I like for more than a couple of years.
I know a lot of people seem to feel like they fit in or have a family here in Lancaster, really quickly some of them but I never had. I guess it takes me a long time for that sort of thing. I do put it down to obviously the Jellicle Cat, but also to Mother-in-Law and her innate ability to create a sense of community as well as to the Teenage Boy and his ex-Fresher exec crew. I know people get very attached to LURPs and quite teamy about it but most years I’ve not really done that, I suspect this is in no small way related to the fact that I only joined LURPs as I was expecting to leave Lancaster and I was only really ever attached to the group of fringe societies on the Barcrawl (Writers Guild, PULSAR, Juggling and LURPS). This year though with that group of the Teenage Boy, Mew, Transcendental Freeze and The Housemate I really felt at home with LURPs, we went to Blackpool and it was awesome, I’ve really missed all the socials I’ve not been able to go on, it’s been really good.
I went away on holiday for a week, on a canal boat and I will write more specifically about that and the things we did later on in the week. (Along with the significant of the flag I made since some people don’t know us well enough!) I like returning to Lancaster. Specifically I like returning to Lancaster in time for Fresher’s Week, I wish I’d been able to get Wednesday off to help out with the Live Demo or Thursday to go and help on the Pagan Soc stall (though given the enthusiasm members have who needs an oldbie like me hanging around -HURRAY!) but it looks like I might have a bit of time on Friday and so I can help out with the Pagan Soc shrine.
In anycase, I came back and feel like I’m fully embracing the stuff of life, as if the year begins and in a sense it does with the start of the university term. I have an interview on Friday, with any luck I’ll get it. I’d like that a lot. I do begin to feel as if I have a home here and it’s only taken three years. Not bad for me I think. Showa only took three months to have that effect on me but then Japan is an odd place.
I just had a very unexpected conversation with the Teenage Boy about the Lace and Steel playtest, it very much unsettled me. On the whole I’m glad it occurred but it did briefly throw me back into a period of time where I felt suddenly thrown out by this whole new friendly world. Called FJ and feel better though. We are getting gradually there with the L&S system though the Yellow Sign ate my summer so we lacked a combat playtest (but we have plans).
I don’t know why it takes me so long to feel a sense of home and belonging but it does. I’m very grateful to these wonderful people who are able to create these belonging sense, this community feel at the drop of a hat. And of course my lovely Jellicle Cat means I do really have a home to come back to as well as a feeling of one. Which of course means I can go away again. I have a base to set out from – hurray!