I don’t have a great relationship with the majority of my family. The Princess is a wonderful exception to this. I don’t know why exactly this is, I tend towards explaining it by dint of the fact that I’m not the easiest person in the world to get on with. If you meet someone who’s views differ from yours then you get to not hang out with them, if you meet someone who’s values are different from yours then you get to disagree (sometimes civilly over dinner). If that person gets born into your family then you’re stuck with them, pretty much. When I dwell on this, or if I try too hard to change things (and inevitably fail) then I get miserable, especially when confronted with people like Weasel’s family who I can talk to…(what? seriously? family members who will actually actively seek me out to discuss things with and who also know about all the poly stuff?!)
I sometimes wonder (half-jokingly) if my being polyamorous is down to my taking Sesame Street to heart as a kid (‘Now remember kids, the lesson for today is SHARING’) or possibly it’s just because with a little sister eventually it becomes ingrained, when you get something good you split it in half and share it with her…or whoever else is around. Certainly I like to share my house with my friends, The Jellicle laughs when he tells me I clearly want to live in a commune, but it’s kind of true I guess. I like having people around, I like showing them all the things that make me happy, and yeah I do come off a little ‘too much’ for some but I’m arrogant enough to want people to accept that if they want to be around me.
It’s probably come across quite well in this blog lately, but I’m a little stressed out at the moment. On Saturday I got to do something that I love, in a way that I’m completely comfortable with, and I felt awesome about it. Then today, I found out that somebody had complained about that and I freaked out, just a little, but I actually only had chance to freak out a little.
The Treasurer was kind, but then he was doing his job, so I went home to Weasel and The Jellicle, The Live Rep was kind, and doing a little more than her job, then FJ rang me, then DS Luke turned up with chocolate, then M-i-L rang and The Princess too. There were also a whole host of supportive messages on facebook. Before I had the chance to go into pannick mode all these fantastic people grabbed me.
Maybe I am difficult to live with from time to time, and a little ‘too much to take’ on others, but I’m surrounded by family who I am on good terms with, they just happen to be chosen family not the one I was born into.