I rather suspect that this entry will end up reading like a lot of nonsense. I am thinking a lot at the moment, and some of the thoughts and especially the emotional reactions I’m having just don’t translate properly into words, or else they dissolve into meaningless sounds on contact with the air.

It’s not an original thought, that one, in fact it’s almost entirely cut and pasted from someone elses script, nevertheless, it’s still true.

I need a plan to keep going. A direction, a heading if you will, I don’t need a future set out in stone and I can take on board other people’s desired futures if they want to include me. Nevertheless I need a heading, and there need to be buoys and ports on the way that I’m expecting to call in at. (Hmm for some reason the sea metaphor seems to be sticking). If I’m expecting to call in at them but life rolls on me at the last moment and a storm sets in and I need to roll up the sails and batten down my hatches then ok, but nevertheless I’ve got my heading.

These last two years have not been easy.

Well, ok, patches and bits of them yeah. Life doesn’t cut you any breaks really, although sometimes certain boyfriends might.

The seas have been stormy of late, definately stormy and my headings have been uncertain and changeable.

Nevertheless I have a couple of ports sorted out.
I have some buoys I’m intending to pass.
Above all, I have my heading, I have my heading and I know that all the storms in the world couldn’t change it.

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