Advice to My Younger Self

I’m incredibly lucky in many ways.

I’ve never been assaulted for being bi.

I’ve been more directly discriminated against for being a Wiccan than for being bi. I’ve had more physical violence directed at me for being a woman and for my job than for being bi.

What would I say to my younger self?

Don’t get so hung up on telling your parents. Yes, it hurts not being able to tell them when you’re a teenager and yes it screwed you up at school not feeling able to talk to any of the adults but to be honest they weren’t going to be able to help you due to the hangover from section 28 anyway. Your friends and sister are as lovely as they can be but they are mostly very, very straight.

When you are old enough to leave you will find a whole lot of queer people in all flavours. It’s hard having to keep your mouth shut about queer things when you’re on the phone home or to Grandma. That is always going to be hard and it’s going to get harder when your girlfriend transitions and due to your Grandma’s dementia you opt to just not say anything to her.
Try and keep up with the phonecalls even so, it’s ok to tell them about the pagan stuff so concentrate on that. When you’re off the phone embrace your queer family, there are a lot of them doing exactly the same dance and worse. It will get better and there is a lot of catharsis in being able to be the Queer adult that you needed/wanted to be there for you for the kids you end up meeting.

March in a Pride as soon as you can. Don’t let the fear of your parents finding out stop you from joining in with the community.
Go on all the Dyke Weekends when you get to Japan, they are really good for you figuring yourself out.

Oh, all the trans activitists you meet in your teens are going to be hella useful in later life, pay close attention, take more notes.

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