In This House

I am staying in The White County at The Jellicle’s parents for Christmas. I’m not sure the last time I was here for Christmas, to be quite honest I’m not sure the last time I wasn’t working until Christmas Eve or Christmas Day and yet this year I finished yesterday and I’m not working again until the day after Boxing Day.

However I do remember the last time I was here, in this house, it was the beginning of 2020. We had spent the previous Christmas in The Green County at my parents place, just in case it was my Dad’s last Christmas, it turned out that it was. The Jellicle, having previously in the year been told it was fine for her to spend the Christmas with Imp due to his bereavement hurriedly changed up her Christmas plans and I was very glad she did. So we visited her parents in the New Year, I remember the beginning of 2020, I was set on it being a year where I would go out and do things.

I had hugged my Dad for what I knew might well be (and was actually) the final time the morning of Boxing Day 2019.

I had had what I thought was the defining love affair of my life come to its very definitive end in the November.

I was determined that January to go out and adventure with The Jellicle. I had plans to go forth and do things. The year began quite well.

1st March 2020 I met a man I instinctively liked in a kitchen, it was the sort of instinctive ‘I know you’ that usually for me portends similar neurodiversity or shared traumas. Whatever it was I cherished being able to act solely on instinct when I was with him and I fell for him possibly more deeply than I have any other man in my life. It lasted two months because amongst other things you need more than just instinct if you’re trying to have an adult romantic relationship.

So ok, I have some LARP lined up, I have some real world stuff lined up, perhaps tomorrow I’ll have a small adventure with The Jellicle. The last time I left this house I was determined to go out and see what I could find that was better than I had had and I walked into a kitchen and found The Fae Ref. Ok, I can’t imagine who could feel better to me than him, but let me walk out of this house on Monday with the same determination for experiences, for happiness as I did two years ago and see where 2023 takes me.

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