The Machine!

(Contains spoilers to The Machine movie and comedy routine)

Sorry, I mistyped that title – THE MACHIIIIINE!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, if you were a certain sort of person in 2016 you died laughing to this sketch on Youtube.

I was not certain that I was the sort of person that was supposed to find this funny, but I died laughing from it, regularly, I thought it was so funny I showed the clip to my parents. Dad thought it was quite funny, he did not like the shirtlessness thing I think. Mum less so.

At some point I did that thing I do and looked up everything I possibly could on Bert Kreischer. Which to be honest is mostly helpfully combined in this next Youtube video.

I also started listening to two of his podcasts; The Bertcast and Something’s Burning. I find the man pretty funny. I’m not sure I find him funny as a comedian in the way I do Izzard or Bill Bailey or stand-up’s I’ve been to see in concert. (If his January show in Glasgow had been affordable I absolutely would have gone to see him).
It’s more like that thing that prompts me to pick up the occaisional book by Derrin Brown, with Mr Brown I’d be up for being trapped in a lift with him and just talking, I suspect with Bert Kreischer it would be absolute hell to be trapped in a lift. If he doesn’t have claustrophobia his sense of self is going to be far too big for that lift.
I think I’d like to have a beer with him, try and get him to shut up long enough to swap some stories, my road trip across the states isn’t joining the mafia and it’s not polished but I reckon I could get a giggle out of him.

Obviously I was quite excited for a film inspired by The Machine being made. But what with it involving the Russian mafia there was a point where it looked like it wasn’t going to be released until Putin stopped being at war with people. Then Kreischer did something a bit dodgy and the film got released.

I am definitely not the target demographic for that story. Or at least I’m not according to the audience in Preston.

There were maybe twenty people. Three of whom were women. I was the only woman there who had not been dragged along by a boyfriend. So I’m sat there in my plaid shirt wondering exactly which stereotype I’m fulfilling…

The movie did not disappoint me. Mark Hamil played Kreisher’s Dad and the movie made me giggle, not the emetic stuff, Kreischer is all about the frat boy humour and the really frat boy stuff did not enamour me… well ok theres a point where he accidentally kills three people and that was funny… the punching a guy into an open wound and some really gross body stuff did not.
So obviously I was quite excited for a film inspired by The Machine being made. But what with it involving the Russian mafia there was a point where it looked like it wasn’t going to be released until Putin stopped being at war with people. Then Kreischer did something a bit dodgy and the film got released.

I am definitely not the target demographic for that story. Or at least I’m not according to the audience in Preston.

There were maybe twenty people. Three of whom were women. I was the only woman there who had not been dragged along by a boyfriend. So I’m sat there in my plaid shirt wondering exactly which stereotype I’m fulfilling…

The movie did not disappoint me. Mark Hamil played Kreisher’s Dad and the movie made me giggle, not the emetic stuff, Kreischer is all about the frat boy humour and the really frat boy stuff did not enamour me… well ok theres a point where he accidentally kills three people and that was funny… the punching a guy into an open wound and some really gross body stuff did not.

Mostly though, I spent my time watching the movie feeling so happy that Bert Kreischer got to make his movie, and in my opinion, it’s way better that that Van Wilder thing Ryan Reynolds or no Ryan Reynolds.

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