No Meerkats Today

I had promised myself that I would see meerkats today. There is a burst pipe so the meerkats (and other animals) are closed. I am really quite sad about this.

Leaping Meerkat

I am therefore looking at previous meerkat pictures. Someone suggested that perhaps I was especially sad because I had LARPdrop. I said maybe but I didn’t really mean it. I tend to find I get LARPdrop after spectacular events, more often get a real buzz after a LARP and then may get drop after the buzz has worn off. But this last event wasn’t a spectacular event. It was, ok, it was, fine, I didn’t mind it.

Curious meerkat

I was sad because I didn’t get to see someone who had been making my event special last year. That was thrown into sharp relief by quite how quickly I went to go hug The Fae Ref when he messaged me. But no Beautiful Lute.

I don’t connect with people very often, most spiderlight threads are thin and sparkly and they don’t exactly go both ways. I make people feel good, I put effort into relationships and I’m told I’m good at it. But the connections don’t often flow both ways.

There’s always that moment for me after relationships end of realising that I was in a totally different place to everyone else involved, that my emotions were off doing there own thing and the connection I thought was there was a mistake.

I still got that this time, spectacularly so in some ways, but there were connections too just not all the places I thought they were.

And now I’m off centre through real world emotions rather than a mismatch between my real life situation and the way my hobby makes me feel.

Nacho the three coloured squirrel

And no meerkats today which feels unfair.

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