Sometimes I feel things very strongly and right in the moment that they’re happening. These moments are few and far between and though they aren’t exclusively sexual that remains the place I am closest to having baseline human normal emotions. I am trying to do this whole unmasking thing by acknowledging my emotions as they … Read More
I’m tired and this is probably not going to make much sense, but ok, listen (not drunk, not high, don’t have covid and am not having another mental break) you know how I was in therapy last year to basically have emotions again/connect with them? And then I was in the most emotionally securing full … Read More
For years I have assumed that my sense of smell has just deadened over the years down to asthma and allergies. My primary asthma symptom has always been sneezing rather than coughing so that threw people a bit when it came to noticing my breathing. That and the allergies. So I just figured that all … Read More
I had promised myself that I would see meerkats today. There is a burst pipe so the meerkats (and other animals) are closed. I am really quite sad about this. I am therefore looking at previous meerkat pictures. Someone suggested that perhaps I was especially sad because I had LARPdrop. I said maybe but I … Read More
(Content Warning: Mental Health navel gazing) Today I got up and made two types of onigiri, some dango and not a great version of Mochi. As is traditional the Jellicle and I were late to get to the picnic under the cherry blossom and DS Luke, Arg Mike and The Live Rep were there before … Read More
(Content Warning, some mention of real world emotional states) I LARP to cry. Specifically I LARP to properly sob, ideally crawling around spottily expelling deep sadness. I LARP to bleed. Not literally, I mean the Nordic term where you access your real emotions in order to further the scene. I guess I method LARP. Or, … Read More
The thing about emotions is they come across you in waves, and I do mean like the sea. There are the lapping waves that you can see coming and there’s a predictable regularity to them and then sometimes there’s a storm out deep at sea and it moves all the water around until the waves … Read More
I am glad that I know Glasgow pretty well, not only because it makes studying there easier but also because it doesn’t feel as bad as perhaps it would knowing that the last time I was here I went on a date with The Fae Ref. I suspect if I ever end up in A&E … Read More
This year was the year I started to really feel things. I did so much therapy last year, I really worked on things, so for all Reddit poly people can jump on my descriptions of my feelings towards The Fae Ref and Beautiful Lute and declare I’m an NRE addict, what remains is that this … Read More
(Content Warning: Oh gods Emotions and THERAPY AGAIN?????!!!) I heard about the death of a friend and my hands began to grieve. I could feel him under my hands, the sensations, the curves in his spine. In 2020 I got really familiar with the heaviness of grief. It felt as if I was weighted to … Read More
