Thé body feels everything, I can’t work out if it’s social expectation that has me locating my emotions so viscerally or if genuinely the emotions live in specific areas of the body. Obviously I’ve had covid so I’m very tired and flat out with that but also I’m very sad this week. I think the … Read More
The thing about emotions is they come across you in waves, and I do mean like the sea. There are the lapping waves that you can see coming and there’s a predictable regularity to them and then sometimes there’s a storm out deep at sea and it moves all the water around until the waves … Read More
2020 was a study in grief for me, an understanding of the sheer heaviness of it, the shaking emotion of it. Every day I had to remind myself in the morning that my father was dead, because I was terrified that I would forget and try to call him or have to relive the initial … Read More
The thing that I do love about polyamory, that I’ve loved since before the Jellicle and I started this weird loving journey of ours is how each love adds to the loves you already have. How learning to love another person, understanding and building that language with them means you add to the language you … Read More
Been a while hasn’t it? How do I love? I’ve always described myself as loving widely not deeply. Eighteen years ago I said that I didn’t trust myself when I fell in love, that I couldn’t trust myself to think. I should read my old blog entries more often perhaps, or I’m claiming insight with … Read More
Yesterday I went to see the doctor about getting a diagnosis sorted out. Ended up in a conversation about trauma and information processing. Turns out when I couldn’t work out why I was struggling to process the dance calls at The Printers Guild Ball and was wondering if it was the low lighting or something … Read More
I had forgotten how much of a physical feeling heartbreak is. The first time my heart was broken was just before Christmas, possibly even Christmas Eve, I had a secret boyfriend and I had to go up to the payphone the otherside of the village to call him and talk to him without my parents … Read More
It’s pride month and although I have changed which prompts I’m using there’s always going to be a coming out story one. Despite the fact that I keep pointing out that I’ve come out a lot over the years, because whilst straight remains the assumption all of us who aren’t are going to have to … Read More
I’ve written before about how coming out is never one moment, it’s a continual process in a world where straight is still the default. (A slight aside here, today I accompanied a client to the doctor’s and was asked if I was a friend or partner in a situation that would not have been read … Read More
Last year I used an old one, this year I’m using an even older one. This is of us when we went to Thailand.
