I was talking with my Mum about the effects of the word social distancing dynamics on The Smol Dragon today. This conversation kicked off because The Bonsai Kaiju told The Princess he was very sad they couldn’t go to other people’s houses due to the nasty germs. The Princess and Britney were pretty much – “yeah us too kid” and honestly so were me and Mum.
The stress of the last eight months is starting to seep into poorly judged communication on my part (and others). It’s entirely probably I’ve scuppered a work relationship due to communicating whilst stressed and the forthcoming lack of hours due to that does not do anything to make me feel better!
A guy (Scottish, tall, geeky) started messaging me a few weeks ago. A mutual friend had suggested I was a good bet for a casual fling. I mean, sure I can see where she was coming from but I’m not really in a great headspace this year.
I’ve lost my Dad, my Grandma, my most enjoyable job and am about to lose my most lucrative job and so no-strings fling sex isn’t really where I’m at right now. He’s a sweet guy but I hope he’s got other prospects or is just enjoying me occasionally talking rubbish.
A friend said last week that I wasn’t acting ‘like you’, I looked at him. The schizophrenics I know are mostly gently nosediving, there’s at least one acquaintance that I’m checking in with their housemates due to their psychoses, the depressives are struggling… no I’m not particularly like me, it’s been eight months of basically no socialising and increasingly stressful work with vulnerable people. I’m currently still coping but good gods that’s with a good SSRI and a course of therapy.
None of us are coming out of this totally like we were before, not me, not the Kaiju and not the Dragon. But at least there’s a light ahead… and I really hope it’s not an oncoming train.