No nicknames used here, first names only.
I’m maudlin at the drop of a hat at the best of times but the other week when I had the bad reaction to the Lisdexamfetamine I genuinely wondered if I was about to drop dead that second with nary a real warning or indication it was going to happen. (Well aside from the heart racing, the pain along my limbs, neck and blood pounding in my ears obviously).
I was thinking about life after death. I’m pretty sure it’s a dancefloor, it’s a club. Andy, Matt, Leth all up DJing.
There’s a moment of Apoptygma Berzerk when Alice is leaving playing Until the End of the World. There’s a lot of metal playing in my heaven, Char and Sammi and I dancing to Nine Inch Nails but swapping out to Florence and the Machine and we’re joined by Laura, Jonno, Mike and the whole sweating lot of us and it’s Kathy’s Song. Martin taking photos as Cath and Luke and Kris and Megan and Shell and Sam and Steve are dancing to 80s goth stuff like it’s 2007.
But that’s the thing about dance floors as you’re dying, I get to have Craig lead me properly across the floor in a waltz, Alex leading me with the shaky competence of a teenager, Muriel and I laughing at whatever we put in each others hair and Dave dancing with me like we were the only ones on the floor under Tim’s instruction.
And Alexa, Claire, Steve, Jen, Esther are dancing to 90s Christmas songs whilst simultaneously changing into all the different wedding dresses I ever saw them drop to American Pie in. It’s not going to take much for a circle to form and people who have never really met to take a turn in the centre, dancing up a storm, Suzi, Vicky, everyone I’ve ever danced with; Heather, my Mum, Claire, Tabby getting to seriously skank up a storm, I know Harry and Lizbeth will put in an appearance at that point.
Just the whole sweating mass of us dancing on an eternal dancefloor and I wonder if that’s where it closes or the lights will start to come on to the Pixies…
If we’ve ever danced together then when I die you’ll be on that dancefloor with me.