Generally speaking I’m quite a content person. I suffer from Depression and have a cynical inner voice who I find very funny. Sometimes, and I suspect it is because my default is to be happy, I’m criticised for looking after my own physical and mental health rather than bending over backwards to help others with theirs. It annoys me, more since I became ill I think, probably because when I had the energy to run around after people I would but with less energy comes less ability to do things for other people.

Also, a lot of my Depression, or at least that which resulted from being physically ill, could have been avoided by my allowing myself to focus on me. The judgement from others annoys me. The notion that some people (often those who shout the loudest) are more allowed than others to be unwell is incredibly frustrating to me.

I’m venting, as I said, my default state without illness, Swamp or otherwise, is towards happiness and contentment. My inner cynic is currently making me laugh by saying the worst possible things but I’ve noticed that there are only a few people besides me who appreciate her notion of humour so I won’t share. Now, painkillers and bed for me.

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