(Content warning – descriptions of me being in pain and thinking about death, including parental death)
So I had heart palpitations and a small increase in blood pressure (went from normal to pre high) following about a week on the Lisdexamfetamine and a glass of wine – although according to the doctor that didn’t actually cause the palpitations. At the time there was a good minute when I assumed I had accidentally managed to kill myself in some hilariously ironic final twist to my life. If I do kill myself through misadventure please gods somebody laugh.
Apparently you can’t actually feel blood pressure but if you’re having an adverse reaction to Lisdexamfetamine it certainly feels like you can and it hurts. It felt like the arteries in my neck were vibrating pain and that my arms were swelling up from the inside.
I’ve previously said heartbreak feels like being kicked in the chest. I have a horrible feeling that if I ever have a heart attack I’m going to think I’m breaking up with someone. Heartbreak hurts more than painful heart palpitations but it’s in about the same place and I’m assuming heart attacks are even more painful.
The worst thing about that is thinking about how horrible a heart attack must feel to die of. Some heart attacks are not quick. If I have one I hope the last one will be. I have a reasonably high pain threshold but I did wonder quite how bad it was going to get with the arms and neck thing feeling like my blood vessels were expanding outwards.
In anycase I’m off the meds and trying to get my blood pressure back down until we can try others.