(Content Warning: Attempted Suicide, Violence, gory description, mentions of my own problems with suicidal ideation) FJ and I sat down tonight and drank the last of my good whisky. I had about a triple I suspect. I haven’t needed a drink like that in a long time but tonight I really did. I need to … Read More
*(Content Warning – I do mention real world death, mostly it’s me rambling about the game though, there’s a lot of IC sex-scandals and some slut shaming oh then things went really mad over the mafia)* Yeah, it’s that game again. The Forever and Ever version… three days for this stuff to get completely mad… … Read More
I’m at a bar in Lancaster, theres about twelve of us meeting up because all the WoW players have heard about this new FestLARP called Empire and we’re talking about setting up a group. There’s someone who isn’t there who is mentioned enough that it feels like there’s an empty chair near the bar. He’s … Read More
(Content Warning: I have included a link to a picture of someone falling from the towers behind the words “one person plunge”) Did you know, I’ve never written about September the 11th on here? Or nothing that’s stuck at any rate. Given the various server drops this blog’s anniversary turns out to be eighteen years … Read More
I am struggling to be motivated to do much of anything right now. The pandemic is almost over and I’ve been living in a state of reasonably high alert for over a year now. I know all the things I should be doing to combat this stress reaction, hell I’ve even been able to do … Read More
I love The Princess but her attitude to death I find weird. It really bugged me her not wanting to talk about the serious bits after Dad died and how she actively flinched from his box of ashes. I’ve been thinking a lot about death this week because it’s been a year since Dad died. … Read More
The love of field and coppice Of green and shaded lanes, Of ordered woods and gardens Is running in your veins. Strong love of grey-blue distance, Brown streams and soft, dim skies I know, but cannot share it, My love is otherwise. I love a sunburnt country, A land of sweeping plains, Of ragged mountain ranges, Of droughts and flooding rains. I love her far horizons, I … Read More
Wednesdays this year have been grim in the extreme. This afternoon my Grandma died. My Mum is having a truly awful year. I am weirdly numb right now, there’s no space in my brain or my heart for anything, possibly by anything what I mean is acknowledging whatever is happening. Wednesdays have been truly grim … Read More
Here I am still going out and working in Tier 3 with a vulnerable adult who is getting more vulnerable (absolutely due to lack of stimulation caused by lockdown). I’m basically betting on my O-negative blood beating out my dodgy immune system and sucky lungs. I’m not as nervous as I was back when no … Read More
That stages of grief woman got the emotions bang on. I seem to be rapidly cycling through them some days and other weeks floating through different ones much longer. What is really helping though is my having taken LSD. Not recently, but in the past. (Seriously it was hard already to get hold of it, … Read More
