No nicknames used here, first names only. I’m maudlin at the drop of a hat at the best of times but the other week when I had the bad reaction to the Lisdexamfetamine I genuinely wondered if I was about to drop dead that second with nary a real warning or indication it was going … Read More
Mary Quant is dead. In the picture the Guardian used for the article about her death she looks so fucking modern. My Great Aunt Joyce once told me that you buy clothes that last and then accessories that are fashionable but honestly I did not know quite how much truly stylish people do that – … Read More
(Content Warning – talking about suicide, attempts, ideation the whole shebang, poor mental health and all that jazz) I think it was talking to Cornish Bloke soon after my Dad had passed, or possibly Tarot Pupil or The Fae Ref as we lost parents or parental figures that year within weeks of each other. In … Read More
(Content Warning – discussion of suicidal ideation, remember the Samaritans are always there for you 116 123) Usually when I stay in Glasgow I end up at the Leonardo on a last minute offer because it’s pretty much unused over a weekend. This weekend that has not happened and I went for the cheapest option … Read More
(Content Warning – discussion of my own suicidal ideation though not in an immediate sense, thoughts about Death) Apparently more people still read this blog than I thought – hi Archie! And I mean still, we’re talking twenty years of this thing come October. Archie is my longest subscriber. It’s reasonably well known that I … Read More
Today I’m about to go into a game of dungeons and dragons (as the game-master). The players are probably going to be asking about the Halfling trickster god who last year I decided to describe as The Racconteur. I’ve done that before, memorialised people in games. Somewhere in an Unknown Armies Chicago there are giant … Read More
At some point in Ghost in the Shell: Stand-Alone Complex the Major talks about why she has a watch on her wrist, an analogue one at that. I have all sorts of things in this house that help me to remember, things that wrap me up in the people and experiences that I have had. … Read More
2020 was a study in grief for me, an understanding of the sheer heaviness of it, the shaking emotion of it. Every day I had to remind myself in the morning that my father was dead, because I was terrified that I would forget and try to call him or have to relive the initial … Read More
I’m pretty fucking angry right now. Today I was explaining to someone that I had worked throughout the pandemic. I was asked if I worked retail. No… I was asked if I worked in healthcare, specifically the first question was if I was a nurse. No… I explained I was a support worker. Oh like … Read More
Really early on this year I learnt something strange about myself, that when someone I know how to touch dies, my hands mourn. Dudge died before he got to my promised massage and I found that my hands could feel him. Were mapping out how to touch him, could feel were to pull back and … Read More
