(More mental health stuff) This entry was supposed to be happy verging on triumphant all about how I had cleaned the toilet for the first time since Dad died. (Yes I have not cleaned the toilet in a little over three years). I would like to point out for hygiene reasons that I do live … Read More
I think that I’m naturally quite a cheerful and confident person. I suspect that seems ridiculous to assert but I really do see my Depression, complete with its suicide ideation, as being separate to my self. The way I’ve always dealt with it, from my teens until present day, is by seeing it as a … Read More
I’m tired and this is probably not going to make much sense, but ok, listen (not drunk, not high, don’t have covid and am not having another mental break) you know how I was in therapy last year to basically have emotions again/connect with them? And then I was in the most emotionally securing full … Read More
I am very fond of looking after my skin but after giving pedicures to Medieval Bride and seeing how pretty she kept her feet despite being on them all day I really upped my feet regimen. I’m still not back on top of all my skincare after last year but I did do a Korean … Read More
There was an afternoon I spent in London with The Funniest, we were in a park somewhere eating ice creams. Earlier in the day I had made my discovery of the genius that is Reggae Reggae Sauce on bacon sandwiches. I can’t remember if it was just after The Jellicle had split with Princess Lex … Read More
For years I have assumed that my sense of smell has just deadened over the years down to asthma and allergies. My primary asthma symptom has always been sneezing rather than coughing so that threw people a bit when it came to noticing my breathing. That and the allergies. So I just figured that all … Read More
(Content Warning – this discusses my personal history of suicide ideation – I am frank about being suicidal as a teenager. Don’t worry I am not actively suicidal right now) I have been suicidal for the vast majority of my life. Most of my adult life has been about managing that desire/urge/background assumption. I don’t … Read More
It’s a full moon tonight, or it might be tomorrow I’m not totally sure (yeah I know not great witching on my part) in any case it’s big and round enough as makes no odds. It looked spectacular and I viscerally missed the year I did full moon rituals in the grove. I might go … Read More
I have a horrific fascination with cults. Especially the sort of really dodgy ones with a personality st the centre persuading the members to do horrific things. Obviously I have a fascination with suicide cults – it’s not really my suicide ideation st play there though, it’s more about a fascination with what the human … Read More
Last week Beautiful Lute sent me a TikTok link which was a neuroscientist talking about rewriting your brain to appreciate tiny little joys. I’m not right at the moment mostly because I think working through trauma makes you miserable whilst you’re going through it and I seem to have so much just going on with … Read More
